There will never be a zombie apocalypse, because when Chuck Norris bites zombies, they turn back into humans.
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Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice and Chuck Norris will roundhouse kick me for being stupid.
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When Chuck Norris plays Monopoly, it changes the actual world economy.
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Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books.
The words assemble themselves out of fear.
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Bill Gates owes Chuck Norris money.
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When Chuck Norris steals a car he forces it to start.
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Someone tried to stab Chuck Norris in the stomach, and the knife bent on his rock-hard abs.
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Despite popular belief, there is no such thing as a tornado.
Chuck Norris just doesn't like trailer parks.
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Chuck Norris lights campfires with fire ants.
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Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died.
The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible.
All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries.
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Chuck Norris is so powerful that when he goes fishing, the fish are so scared they drown.
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