There will never be a zombie apocalypse, because when Chuck Norris bites zombies, they turn back into humans.
Chuck Norris made Newton write 3 laws of physics just to break them... he was having a boring weekend.
When Chuck Norris was born he drove his mom home from the hospital.
Chuck Norris once spelled the entire alphabet using only M&Ms.
The goal of life is living in agreement with Chuck Norris.
If Chuck Norris were a calendar, every month would be named Chucktober, and every day he'd kick your ass.
Chuck Norris is the reason why George Michael is never gonna dance again.
Ballet is banned within a 1000 miles of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can get a strike in bowling using a ping-pong ball.
Chuck Norris can speak Japanese... in French.
When Chuck Norris donates blood he refuses the needle, he asks for a knife and a bucket.