There will never be a zombie apocalypse, because when Chuck Norris bites zombies, they turn back into humans.
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When you sneeze, it means someone is thinking badly of you.
When you have a seizure and pass out, it means Chuck Norris is thinking badly
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Chuck Norris put humpty dumpty back together again, only to roundhouse kick him in the face.
Later Chuck dined on scrambled eggs with all the king's horses and all the king's men.
The king himself could not attend for unspecified reasons.
Coincidentally, the autopsoy revealed the cause of death to be a roundhouse kick to the face.
There is only one King.
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The cops pulled Chuck Norris over for going 55 miles per hour on the freeway.
But since he wasn't in a car, they had to give him a ticket for jaywalking.
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Chuck Norris doesn't die...he just sleep in the ground for a little bit.
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You've heard that Chuck Norris counted to infinity twice, right?
Well he's currently making his third attempt.
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Chuck Norris once rode a bull, and nine months later it had a calf.
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Three seconds after Chuck Norris was shot, the bullet came out screaming.
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Arnold Schwarzenegger always says he'll be back.
But Chuck Norris always handles things the first time
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Chuck Norris doesn't play computer games,the computer plays Chuck Norris games.
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Chuck Norris once ate four 30lb bowling balls without chewing.
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