There will never be a zombie apocalypse, because when Chuck Norris bites zombies, they turn back into humans.
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A blind man ran into Chuck Norris and got his sight back.
Unfortunately, the first and last thing he saw was a roundhouse kick to the face.
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Chuck Norris is the only person who can kick someone in the back of the face.
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During vacation my front door's open and I left a note saying "This house is protected by Chuck Norris 3 days a week you guess which 3."
All was good.
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Chuck Norris once made an omelette from a Fabergé egg.
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Chuck Norris grabs Donald Trump by the pussy.
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When Chuck Norris was 5 he threw a paper airplane.
It landed yesterday.
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Chuck Norris can watch music.
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Chuck Norris won gold for sitting in the crowd at the olympics.
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Chuck Norris was once asked to place his legs and fists in the cargo bay of a plane because weapons aren't allowed in the cabin.
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Ghosts actually have their own kind of tv.
The show that scares them the most is called "Chuck Norris Caught On Tape".
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