There will never be a zombie apocalypse, because when Chuck Norris bites zombies, they turn back into humans.
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Chuck Norris can watch DVD's on a VCR.
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There are no comets.
Only people that Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked so hard that they are now in permanent orbit in our solar system.
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When Chuck Norris jumps from a building, the concrete commits suicide.
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Chuck Norris does not understand any phrase that begins with "if at first you don't succeed."
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Chuck Norris never felt fear, and he never will.
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Google is setting up a new search engine to answer life's difficult and most complex questions with the response always being the same... Chuck Norris.
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We live in an expanding universe.
All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris.
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When Chuck Norris throws a throwing knife, the knife doesn't kill his victim, the force of the air did.
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Chuck Norris is a fact.
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Chuck Norris just checked out from 501... In 8 darts.
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