There will never be a zombie apocalypse, because when Chuck Norris bites zombies, they turn back into humans.
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When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesn’t get charged.
He holds up the phone and money falls out.
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Chuck Norris wanted more dialogue for his next movie.
It was too short for release.
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The universe expands because the stars believe this way will be safer from Chuck Norris.
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When Chuck Norris falls over, the ground needs a band-aid
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Santa writes to Chuck Norris about what he wants for Christmas.
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Chuck Norris couldn't act in Titanic because he would have saved everyone.
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You might kill two birds with one stone, but Chuck Norris kills two stones with one bird.
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Not even Houdini can escape from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris created the platypus by roundhouse kicking a duck at a beaver.
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The boogie man checks his closet at night for Chuck Norris.
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