The only reason world peace doesn't exist is because Chuck Norris doesn't feel like bringing peace to the whole world.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever.
Chuck Norris can see at least 3 extra colors.
Never look a gift Chuck Norris in the mouth, because he will bite your damn eyes off.
All of Chuck Norris's opinions can be proven with science.
Chuck Norris does not masturbate, because there is no greater pleasure than being Chuck Norris.
15 years ago I started a burping contest with Chuck Norris... who had the longest? I don't know he is still busy.
One does not simply survive Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can skip a sound track on the radio if he doesn't like it.
Chuck Norris can play a whole note in 3/4 time.
If only telemarketers would have the balls to call Chuck Norris... Then none of us would have to put up with them again.