The only reason world peace doesn't exist is because Chuck Norris doesn't feel like bringing peace to the whole world.
Chuck Norris holds the world record for most push ups done in a hour, the number is all of them.
Charlie Sheen is a drug, it will melt your face and kill you. Chuck Norris had two 8-Balls of Sheen and is now suing for false advertising.
Film makers are smart enough NOT to make a Chuck Norris movie in 3D.
Chuck Norris can flush a port-a-potty.
When Chuck Norris has a heart attack, he attacks back.
Chuck Norris will chuck you in the norris!
A train saw Chuck Norris on the track and turned down a dirt road.
Chuck Norris can power solar panels. At Night.
When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.
Chuck Norris is spelled with a silent "awesome".