The only reason world peace doesn't exist is because Chuck Norris doesn't feel like bringing peace to the whole world.
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Chuck Norris bowled a perfect game...
While using a golf ball.
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Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure began when Chuck Norris arrived from the future and roundhouse kicked that phone booth into the past.
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Simon doesn't say... Chuck Norris says.
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Chuck Norris could stab you with a worm.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need a stapler, he puts the paper between his fingers and they just stick.
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Chuck Norris invented 1080p so people could see his beard is made of razor wire.
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Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer.
Too bad he has never cried.
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When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack.
Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
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For his surprise 50th birthday party, Chuck Norris turned up early.
No one surprises Chuck Norris.
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Stevie Wonder was the last person to stare Chuck Norris directly in the eyes...
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