Chuck Norris can make you laugh at your own funeral.
Chuck Norris's tombstone will say, "He's finally taking a nap, do not wake."
Chuck Norris puts the fun in funeral.
It is convenient to be near a hospital when you are injured. It is also convenient to insult Chuck Norris while standing in an open grave.
Chuck Norris cancelled his own funeral.
Chuck Norris wears white to a funeral, no one asks why.
Someone once broke into Chuck Norris' house and instead of stealing anything they gave Chuck Norris everything they owned.
Never ask Chuck Norris for an autograph. Why? Because Chuck's signature is a straight roundhouse kick to the face.
It's Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right at center ice. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there. "No" says the neighbor. "The seat is empty." "This is incredible," said the man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Stanley Cup and not use it?" The neighbor says, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Stanley Cup we haven't been to together since we got married." "Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. That's terrible... But couldn't you find someone else, a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?" The man shakes his head. "No,” he says. “They're all at the funeral."
Chuck did enter the Dragon.
In funeral of my friend's wife, I went to condole him so I said: "Don't think she was your wife, she was for all".