Chuck Norris can make you laugh at your own funeral.
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Chuck Norris cancelled his own funeral.
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Chuck Norris's tombstone will say, "He's finally taking a nap, do not wake."
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Chuck Norris puts the fun in funeral.
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It is convenient to be near a hospital when you are injured.
It is also convenient to insult Chuck Norris while standing in an open grave.
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Chuck Norris wears white to a funeral, no one asks why.
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On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
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After Chuck Norris was born, he drove himself back home.
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Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet.
The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.
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Rome wasn't built in a day because they didn't ask Chuck Norris for help.
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A man is at his lawyer's funeral and and is surprised by the turnout for this one man.
He turns to the people around him. "Why are you all at this man's funeral?"
A man turns towards him and says, "We're all clients."
"And you ALL came to pay your respects? How touching."
"No, we came to make sure he was dead."