Chuck Norris can make you laugh at your own funeral.
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Chuck Norris's tombstone will say, "He's finally taking a nap, do not wake."
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Chuck Norris cancelled his own funeral.
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Chuck Norris puts the fun in funeral.
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It is convenient to be near a hospital when you are injured.
It is also convenient to insult Chuck Norris while standing in an open grave.
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Chuck Norris wears white to a funeral, no one asks why.
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Chuck doesn't have e-mail, he has HE-mail.
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I used to hate weddings, all the old ladies would prod me and say "you'll be next!"
They soon stopped that, when I started saying it to them at funerals !
A presser in a tailor shop arrived one morning wearing a good sized diamond ring.
One of the tailors noticed the sparkler and asked about it.
"My mother-in-law gave me a thousand dollars before she passed away. She said that when she dies, I should buy a beautiful stone. So I did!
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The sun cannot look directly at Chuck Norris.
It must use specialized equipment just to gaze upon his silhouette
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When Chuck Norris has your back you aren't likely to get it back again.
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