Joke #10520

Chuck Norris can make you laugh at your own funeral.
Vote:
has 45.30 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, funeral

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Chuck Norris's tombstone will say, "He's finally taking a nap, do not wake."
Vote:
has 43.43 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, funeral
Chuck Norris puts the fun in funeral.
Vote:
has 39.94 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, funeral
Chuck Norris cancelled his own funeral.
Vote:
has 39.94 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, funeral
It is convenient to be near a hospital when you are injured. It is also convenient to insult Chuck Norris while standing in an open grave.
Vote:
has 37.73 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, funeral, hospital
Chuck Norris wears white to a funeral, no one asks why.
Vote:
has 31.89 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, funeral
Chuck Norris once took a CPR class, this way he can kill you, revive you, and kill you again.
Vote:
has 49.93 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
A lawyer trying to get tickets to a Broadway show, finally settled for a couple of seats a year in advance. When the exciting night arrived and he sat down in his seat, a woman in front of the lawyer noticed the empty seat next to him and asked why such a valuable commodity was unused. The lawyer replied that his wife couldn't make it. The woman asked him if he didn't have relatives or friends who could have used the seat. He replied, "Oh, they're all at the funeral."
Vote:
has 19.23 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: death, funeral, lawyer, wife
Three gay men died, and were going to be cremated. Their lovers happened to be at the funeral home at the same time, and were discussing what they planned to do with the ashes. The first man said, "My Ryan loved to fly, so I'm going up in a plane and scatter his ashes in the sky." The second man said, "My Ross was a good fisherman, so I'm going to scatter his ashes in our favorite lake." The third man said, "My Jack was such a good lover, I think I'm going to dump his ashes in a pot of chili, so he can tear my ass up just one more time."
Vote:
has 67.74 % from 218 votes. More jokes about: airplane, black humor, death, funeral, gay
It's game 7 of the NBA finals and a man makes his way to his seat at center court. He sits down and notices that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone is sitting there. He responds, "No, the seat's empty." "The first man exclaims, "What?!? Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the NBA finals and not use it?" The neighbor responds, "Well the seat is mine, but my wife passed away and this is the first NBA finals we haven't been together." The first man responds," I'm sorry to hear that. Wasn't there anyone else, a friend or relative, that could've taken that seat?" The neighbor responds, "No, they're all at the funeral."
Vote:
has 30.43 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: funeral, sport, wife
An old, old man was lying in his death bed upstairs. His most favorite food in the world was chocolate chip cookies. As he lay there, gasping for each breath, he was sure he could smell freshly-baked chocolate chip cookies. He crawled out of bed and slowly limped down the stairs. Sure enough, across the kitchen, there was a huge platter of chocolate chip cookies on the table. He finally made it to the table and he reached a shaking hand towards the cookies. Suddenly, his wife slapped his hand sharply and yelled, "DON’T TOUCH THOSE - they’re for the funeral!"
Vote:
has 62.91 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: death, food, funeral, old people, wife