huck Norris was supposed to star in the tv show 'Man vs Wild', but the network did not want kids thinking 'lava is safe to eat'.
Chuck Norris is the only man to punch a cyclops between the eyes.
Daylight Savings happened when Chuck Norris overslept an hour.
Chuck Norris doesn't run for President; the President runs for Vice God Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris makes a burrito, its main ingredient is real toes.
When Chuck Norris was a kid he didn't play with Lincoln Logs, he built real houses.
Chuck Norris once strangled a man with the mans own eyelash.
You can't win a starring contest with Chuck Norris becuase when you look in to his eyes you see hell starring right back at you.
Chuck Norris once won a chess game after losing his king
Chuck Norris invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe, with eleven herbs and spices. But nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear.
Chuck Norris cut his scissors using his hair.