Chuck Norris can shut the door open.
Chuck Norris is the only person who can write history of the future.
Chuck Norris has hair of steel wool. That's why his mullet never moves.
When Chuck Norris was a baby he didnt have teddy bears. He had real bears.
America doesn't need a military... We've got Chuck Norris
On a high school math test, Chuck Norris put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with Violence.
Chuck Norris won the Kentucky derby, on a Unicorn.
Chuck Norris likes steel wool... it's his loofah.
Chuck Norris once had a heart attack; his heart lost.
When observing a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick in slow motion one finds that Chuck Norris actually rapes his victim in the ass, smokes a cigarette with Dennis Leary, and then roundhouse kicks them in the face.
Scientis cannot figure out where Atlantis is... Chuck Norris owns a villa there.