Chuck Norris can shut the door open.
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Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther's womb.
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Chuck Norris's tombstone will say, "He's finally taking a nap, do not wake."
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Chuck Norris paints little red wagons for a living with his victim's blood.
But not the wheels.
That's just wrong.
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Chuck Norris can stand at the bottom of a bottomless pit.
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When the fire department catches fire, they call Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can set water on fire.
He can also set fire on water.
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Chuck Norris can spit through bulletproof glass.
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When Chuck Norris wants popcorn, he breathes on Nebraska.
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Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
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Chuck Norris didn't survive the first night in Minecraft, the first night survived Chuck Norris.
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