Chuck Norris beat a brick wall at tennis.
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Chuck Norris is the only person who can write history of the future.
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Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth.
Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.
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Everytime a star explodes, it's because one of Chuck Norris's victims just landed there after being round-house kicked.
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When Chuck Norris comes into your house, you are the guest.
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Chuck Norris is a man of few words.
Chuck Norris is not a man of few roundhouse kicks to the face.
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When Chuck Norris watches a horror movie, Chuck Norris dosen't scream, the movie does.
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Chuck Norris invented the spoon because it's too easy to kill someone with a knife or fork.
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Everybody loves Raymond. Except for Chuck Norris.
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If Chuck Norris was on Minute to Win it, they would need 59 seconds of filler.
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Chuck Norris has a Roundhouse Kick button on his Facebook page, and when he deletes a friend they actually die.
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