Q: How many blonde jokes are there?
A: One. The rest are all true stories.
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
Oscar drove his brand new Mercedes to his favorite sporting goods store.
He parked it outside and went in to do a little perusing with Jan, his regular sales woman.
Jan was a pretty blonde, and as Oscar walked into the store, she happily greeted him.
But he requested to look around alone today before he needed her help.
She obliged and let him do his thing.
Five minutes later, Jan came running up to him yelling, “Oscar! Oscar! I just saw someone driving off with your new Mercedes!”
“Dear God! Did you try to stop him?”
“No,” she said, “I did better than that! I got the license plate number!”
A blonde girl was talking to her redhead friend about her boyfriend's dandruff problem.
The redhead says "Why don't you give him Head and Shoulders?"
The blonde replies, "How do you give shoulders?"
A redhead, a blonde and a brunette were stuck on an island and had to get back home from the island.
The redhead swims half way and drowns.
The brunette swims half way and drowns too.
The blonde swims halfway gets tired and swims back.
Vote:
There were two blondes, and they had just came from a store.
The blonde that owned the mustang had locked her keys in the car.
She was trying to pick the lock when she stoped to rest for a second.
When she sat down, her friend said, "Hurry up, it's starting to rain and the top's down!"
Why did the blonde put lipstick on her forehead?
Because she was trying to make up her mind.
How many blondes does it take to milk a cow?
Five - one to hold the udder, and four to lift and the cow up and down.
Q: Why did the blonde take more than one pregnancy test?
A: Because she slept with more than one guy.
A blonde women is sitting in her garage, alone, with a gun to her head.
She is depressed and finally decides that she just can't live anymore.
Then, her husband comes home, finds her with the gun and begs her not to do it.
"Please, honey, don't do it, i'll do anything you want, but please, don't kill yourself!" he pleads.
"Shut up! your next!" the blonde says.
A blonde gets her haircut while wearing a pair of headphones.
The hairdresser asks her to take them off, but she protests that she'll die without them.
The hairdresser sighs, and starts cutting the hair around the headphones.
Soon, the blonde falls asleep, and the hairdresser removes the headphones.
A few minutes later, the blonde collapses, dead on the floor.
Alarmed, the hairdresser puts the headphones to his ear and hears, "Breathe in. Breathe out."