A blonde is working as a lifeguard at a swimming pool when a girl begins to drown, screaming "lifesaver! lifesaver!" The blonde thinks for a moment, and then asks "cherry or grape?"
How many blondes does it take to play tag? One.
Q: Why does the blonde have the biggest tits in the third grade? A: Because she's 21.
Q: Why don't blondes eat pickles? A: They can't get their heads in the jars.
What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios? ‘Oh look! Doughnut seeds!’
Three blonde men are on one side of a wide river and don't know how to get across. The first man prays to God to make him smart enough to figure out how to cross the river, so God turns him into a brown-haired man and he swims across. The second man prays to God to make him even smarter, so God turns him into a dark-haired man and he builds a boat and rows across. Then the third man prays to God to make him the smartest of all, so God turns him into a woman and she walks across the bridge.
Why did the blonde throw breadcrumbs in the toilet? To feed the toilet duck!
A highway patrolman pulled up alongside a speeding car on the freeway. As the officer peered through the driver's window, he was astounded to find that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting. The trooper cranked down his window and yelled to the driver, "Pull over!" at the top of his lungs. "No!" the blonde yelled back, "Scarf!"
There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. "Hey" she shouts, "how can I get to the other side?" The second blonde looks up the river then down the river then shouts back, "You are already on the other side."
A blonde keeps checking her mail box. A neighbour notices her repeated trips to the kerb and asks if she’s waiting for a special delivery. ‘No,’ she replies. ‘But my computer keeps telling me I have mail.’