Crop Circles are Chuck Norris's preschool art projects.
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Using only a black king, Chuck Norris defeated the world-champion grand-master in chess.
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Everyone knows the speed of light...
Chuck Norris knows the speed of darkness.
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Film makers are smart enough NOT to make a Chuck Norris movie in 3D.
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Chuck Norris created Heavy Metal when he was upset.
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Chuck Norris does not play the lottery.
It doesn't have nearly enough balls.
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Chuck Norris does not cleanse himself with your everyday shower.
He uses Meteor Showers.
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Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.
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Chuck Norris is so hard, he uses diamonds as stress balls.
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In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
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Chuck Norris once planted a box of Cheerios in his yard, the result was a donut tree.
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