The Guinness Book of World Records is actually Chuck Norris' elementary school report card.
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Chuck Norris doesn't hold any world records, he broke them all.
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The sun is Chuck Norris's pocket flashlight.
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Depending on the circumstances, Chuck Norris will decide whether or not his farts will stink.
If he chooses to have them stink, he will then also determine the appropriate percentage level of rankness delivered based on the demographics of the attending audience.
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Chuck Norris sleeps with every woman on the planet once a month... and they bleed for a week.
Chuck Norris goes to the Bermuda Triangle for vacation.
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Finally, they discovered real cause of Bruce Lee's death – extreme exhaustion from fight with Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesen't fly, gravity collapses around him.
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Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest.
Chuck Norris won by 5.
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Chuck Norris does not play the lottery.
It doesn't have nearly enough balls.
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An ancient Chinese prophecy states that a man will be created to protect the lands from all evil.
Chuck Norris killed that man.
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