The Guinness Book of World Records is actually Chuck Norris' elementary school report card.
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Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
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When Chuck Norris breaks the speed limit, no one can put it back together again.
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Chuck Norris is the reason terrorists hide in caves.
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Chuck Norris can drive a solar-powered car at night.
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Chuck Norris brings his fists to gunfights.
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Chuck Norris once won a Scrabble tournament despite getting only Z's and Q's in his rack.
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Not only CAN Chuck have his cake and eat it too, he WILL.
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Chuck Norris doesn't check under his bed for monsters, monsters check on top of the bed to see if Chuck Norris is sleeping.
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Two things in life are certain: Death and a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris built the never ending stairs.
Then he climbed it up.
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