The Guinness Book of World Records is actually Chuck Norris' elementary school report card.
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Chuck Norris never has a deja vu.
No scene would be that stupid to appear in front of the man twice.
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When Chuck Norris finishes his workout, the gym takes a break.
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A time paradox was invented when Chuck Norris went back in time to raise himself.
Now he has provoked the event 2012.
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If Chuck Norris were an Adam's Apple, he'd be in your throat right now.
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When Chuck Norris steals a car he forces it to start.
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One man said he got his butt whooped by Chuck Norris twice but he lied, because everyone knows you couldn't survive it once.
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Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time.
He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
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Chuck Norris grabs Donald Trump by the pussy.
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When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat kids into a camp fire.
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Arnold Schwarzenegger cannot tell Chuck Norris to "get down!"
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