Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
Chuck Norris tells his GPS when he wants to turn.
If Chuck Norris told you to jump off a bridge, would you? Of course you would.
A watched kettle never boils... unless Chuck Norris is doing the watching, in which case it explodes.
2PAC once thought he was tougher than Chuck Norris... he was later murdered.
Chuck Norris has nicknames for his feet... Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
Chuck Norris is a fact.
Chuck Norris is the only person who can kick someone in the back of the face.
Chuck Norris made the universe... out of his snot and left kidney.
When Chuck Norris gets pulled over he read the officers his rights.
Michael Jordan is the greatest basketball player of all-time because Chuck Norris never played.