Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
What happens when Chuck Norris orders a beer and gets a beer? He roundhouses the waitress, Chuck Norris should not have to ask.
Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.
Chuck starts the new year by roundhouse kicking the old one.
Chuck Norris says to rate this five stars or he"ll throw you five NINJA stars.
Chuck Norris sees dead people...and they run.
The Grinch didn't really steal Christmas. He just hired Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris's GPS still can't find him.
Chuck Norris doesn't run out of bullets, bullets run out of Norrises.
Chuck Norris can't be racist, because to him there are no people, just light and dark targets.
Hercules strangled two snakes in his crib when he was a baby. Chuck Norris strangled a grizzly bear moments after birth with his own umbilical cord.