Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
Chuck Norris' blood is the only blood to test positive for kickass.
Chuck Norris made Ellen Degeneres straight.
Chuck Norris has never used a question mark in his life.
Chuck Norris put humpty dumpty back together again, only to roundhouse kick him in the face. Later Chuck dined on scrambled eggs with all the king's horses and all the king's men. The king himself could not attend for unspecified reasons. Coincidentally, the autopsoy revealed the cause of death to be a roundhouse kick to the face. There is only one King.
It takes courage to say YES at the altar. It takes even more courage to say NO to Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris jumps from a building, the concrete commits suicide.
Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
Charlie Sheen is a drug, it will melt your face and kill you. Chuck Norris had two 8-Balls of Sheen and is now suing for false advertising.
Chuck Norris doesn't see dead people. He makes people dead.
The ground hog only pokes his head out to check for Chuck Norris.