Arnold Schwarzenegger cannot tell Chuck Norris to "get down!"
Chuck Norris wears sunglasses not to protect his eyes from the sun, but to protect the sun from Chuck Norris.
Michael Jordan is the greatest basketball player of all-time because Chuck Norris never played.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - three times.
When Chuck lit a match earth saw the sun for the first time!
Chuck Norris saw the Invisible Man.
The speed of light was instituted because Chuck Norris didn't want get winded outrunning it. Chuck Norris hates to sweat.
When Chuck Norris touched a Prius, it turned into a Ferrari
Chuck Norris' feet are so fast, he can kick you in the past.
Chuck Norris' beard can etch a sketch a picture of chuck killing a man. When the last line is drawn, that man dies!
Charlie Sheen is a drug, it will melt your face and kill you. Chuck Norris had two 8-Balls of Sheen and is now suing for false advertising.