Arnold Schwarzenegger cannot tell Chuck Norris to "get down!"
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Human cloning is outlawed because if Chuck Norris were cloned, then it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to meet another chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe.
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Chuck Norris CAN get blood from a stone.
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Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died.
The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible.
All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries.
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Chuck norris can control chaos.
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Chuck Norris doesn't pay the government, the government pays him.
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Chuck Norris once created a time machine and had to fight himself.
We call it The Big Bang.
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Chuck Norris actually went to Rome by all roads. At the same time.
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Chuck Norris is the greatest thing, period, despite his invention of sliced bread.
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Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
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The Mayans predict that Chuck Norris going to roundhouse kick this earth in the year 2012.
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