Arnold Schwarzenegger cannot tell Chuck Norris to "get down!"
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The burning bush that Moses spoke of was actually Chuck Norris's beard!
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A watched kettle never boils... unless Chuck Norris is doing the watching, in which case it explodes.
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Chuck Norris can put out a fire using nothing but gasoline.
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Chuck Norris won a guitar battle with a violin.
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Newton's 3rd Law never applies to Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris does not understand any phrase that begins with "if at first you don't succeed."
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We only submit these facts so he doesn't kill us.
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Chuck Norris sends his beard clippings to the police.
They are used as bullet proof vests.
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The dark side of the moon is the side that cowers in fear of Chuck Norris.
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Facebook had a dislike button, then Chuck Norris joined.
Nobody dislikes Chuck Norris.
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