Chuck Norris won a soccer game. He was the referee.
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The Sun is Chuck Norris' camp fire.
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Chuck Norris has won tennis match against a wall.
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Chuck Norris has a diary.
It's called the Guinness Book of World Records.
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The reason everything is better in Texas is because Chuck Norris said so.
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Chuck Norris sleeps with every woman on the planet once a month... and they bleed for a week.
Chuck Norris once played himself in Russian Roulette, and he won.
No Questions asked.
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Chuck Norris once wrestled a thirty foot snake, and then he realized he was just masturbating.
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The cops pulled Chuck Norris over for going 55 miles per hour on the freeway.
But since he wasn't in a car, they had to give him a ticket for jaywalking.
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Chuck Norris doesn't even have to bid in an auction to win it.
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Chuck Norris leaves messages before the beep.
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