Chuck Norris acting contracts are if the movie producer want Chuck Norris to act in his movie, the producer is roundhouse kicked.
Chuck Norris can make you laugh at your own funeral.
Chuck Norris' personal airplane is called Air Force Chuck.
In space Chuck Norris can hear your screams.
King Kong climbed the Empire State Building because Chuck Norris was waiting at the bottom.
If Chuck were in the movie Nightmare On Elm Street then it would be renamed nightmare on Chuck Norris Street, cuz nobody dared to get near him.
Nails wish they were as tough as Chuck Norris.
Italy looks like a boot... you know who owns that boot.
Once, on the set of Walker Texas Ranger, a goat fell over dead. Chuck Norris ran up to the goat and beard rubbed it back to life.
Mortal Kombat was originally called 'Ways Chuck Norris Can Kill You'.
After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. It was more "humane".