Chuck Norris acting contracts are if the movie producer want Chuck Norris to act in his movie, the producer is roundhouse kicked.
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Chuck Norris can won the winter Olympics...
In the summer.
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Chuck Norris has never won an Academy Award for acting... because he's not acting.
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After being shot by a criminal, Chuck Norris said... "that tickles".
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Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Chuck Norris.
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Someone once broke into Chuck Norris' house and instead of stealing anything they gave Chuck Norris everything they owned.
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When Chuck Norris runs backwards during a fight, it may seem like he's retreating.
He's not. He's just attacking from another direction.
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Chuck Norris occasionally smokes large cigars.
The last one was called the Hindenburg.
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When Chuck Norris talks, E.F. Hutton listens.
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When raining, Chuck Norris doesn't need an umbrella , he can dodge the rain drops.
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Chuck Norris once bench pressed an 18 wheeler.
With him inside it.
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