Chuck Norris acting contracts are if the movie producer want Chuck Norris to act in his movie, the producer is roundhouse kicked.
Chuck Norris can mess with the bull without getting the horns.
Chuck Norris can in fact eat water.
Chuck Norris can tie your hands behind your back with both hands tied behind his back.
When Chuck Norris was a baby, he sucked on a pacifier and made it cry.
Chuck Norris once won a blinking contest against a statue!
Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
The Mona Lisa is smiling because Chuck Norris let her live.
If Chuck Norris had to he could give CPR to himself.
Chuck Norris once wrestled a thirty foot snake, and then he realized he was just masturbating.
Giraffes were invented when Chuck Norris laid an uppercut to a horse.