Chuck Norris acting contracts are if the movie producer want Chuck Norris to act in his movie, the producer is roundhouse kicked.
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Chuck Norris can choke you to life.
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Chuck Norris doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them.
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When Chuck Norris plays hide and seek, even google can't find him.
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The Titanic didn't sink by an ice burg, Chuck Norris was doing the back stroke across the Atlantic.
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The cake is a lie, Chuck Norris is THE TRUTH.
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Chuck Norris' phone never auto corrects him.
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When Chuck Norris wears a mood ring, it doesn't say whether he's happy or sad.
It says he's Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris is allowed to draw pictures of Mohammad.
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Avatar's were invented when Chuck Norris laid an uppercut to a smurf.
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If Chuck Norris was on Minute to Win it, they would need 59 seconds of filler.
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