Chuck Norris acting contracts are if the movie producer want Chuck Norris to act in his movie, the producer is roundhouse kicked.
Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris
If you step on a crack, Chuck Norris will break your back.
Chuck Norris has heard the actual voice of Charlie Brown's teacher...
I challenged Chuck Norris once. He made a bun with my legs over my head, then he roundhouse kicked me to outer space. Now I read the facts from Mars.
Chuck Norris doesn't teach his kicks. They speak for themselves.
What came first, the chicken or the egg? Chuck Norris came first.
Nuclear weapons were discovered after a failed attempt to harness the power of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once strangled a man with the mans own eyelash.
Chuck Norris can hear his phone ring on silent.
When Chuck Norris was 5 he threw a paper airplane. It landed yesterday.