Extra Terrestrials often visit Earth from other galaxies - they're here to see if Chuck Norris really exists.
People say "bless you" when you sneeze because Chuck Norris might catch your soul. It's a myth. Chuck Norris can take your soul whenever he wants.
Chuck Norris doesn't dial the wrong number, you pick up the wrong phone
You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life? In actuality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.
Kryptonite is ancient Latin for Chuck Norris
Hercules strangled two snakes in his crib when he was a baby. Chuck Norris strangled a grizzly bear moments after birth with his own umbilical cord.
After Chuck Norris was born, he drove himself back home.
Chuck Norris doesn't prepare dinner; dinner knows when to be ready.
Chuck Norris once decided to dig a hole, today we call it the Grand Canyon.
Chuck Norris walked into a bar. "OUCH!" said the bar.
Chuck Norris's wish isn't your command, Chuck Norris's command is your wish...