Ozzy Osbourne once accidentally bit the head off a live bat - Chuck Norris once deliberately bit the head off a live pterodactyl.
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Chuck Norris caught all the 493 Pokemon...
With the Yellow version.
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Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the f*** down.
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Chuck Norris called McDonald's through the television.
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When Chuck Norris was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay:
"What is courage?"
He received an A+ for turning in a blank page with only his name at the top.
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Insurance never covers you against damage sustained by Chuck Norris, as it's classed as an Act of God!
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Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter.
He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.
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Chuck Norris keeps a list of all his victims, it's called the phone book.
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Chuck Norris won the Boston marathon in New York.
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Chuck can use "save" in real life.
But he doesn't need it.
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Chuck Norris uses flatbed trailers as roller skates.
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