Ozzy Osbourne once accidentally bit the head off a live bat - Chuck Norris once deliberately bit the head off a live pterodactyl.
Chuck Norris doesn't wear a wristwatch. He always knows when it's time to kick some ass.
If Chuck Norris were president, he would protect the secret service.
When Chuck Norris forgets something it ceases to exist.
Global warming is the result of Chuck Norris getting mad.
Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice and Chuck Norris will roundhouse kick me for being stupid.
Electricity pays Chuck Norris to light up his house.
Chuck Norris can hear pictures.
Death has a shadow... Chuck Norris
Q: What do a bungee jump cord and a hooker have in common? A: If the rubber breaks you're screwed.
There were 3 people on a boat, Chuck Norris, Jesus, and the Penelope, Jesus said "I bet I can walk across the water." He did, Chuck Norris tried, he did, the Penelope said "They did it that means I do it." , He tried, he sank, Jesus said: "Should I have told him about the rocks?" Chuck Norris said "What rocks?"