Ozzy Osbourne once accidentally bit the head off a live bat - Chuck Norris once deliberately bit the head off a live pterodactyl.
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Chuck Norris doesn't pick up his food to eat it.
He commands it to enter his mouth.
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Suicide committed Chuck Norris.
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"With great power comes a great beard!"
- Chuck Norris.
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Someone once videotaped Chuck Norris getting pissed off.
It was called Walker: Texas Chain Saw Masacre.
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Chuck Norris is so awesome, he can dodge rain.
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The Earth does NOT revolve around the Sun.
The Earth is stationary.
The Sun follows Chuck Norris as he makes his daily jog around the Earth.
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Chuck Norris will never die.
The Grim Reaper is too scared to come and claim him.
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It takes courage to say YES at the altar.
It takes even more courage to say NO to Chuck Norris.
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The phrase "Just a second" comes from the time it takes for Chuck Norris to heat up a cup of coffee... with his breath.
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As an infant, Chuck Norris' parents gave him a toy hammer.
He gave the world Stonehenge.
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