Ozzy Osbourne once accidentally bit the head off a live bat - Chuck Norris once deliberately bit the head off a live pterodactyl.
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Chuck Norris doesn't see dead people. He makes people dead.
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When Chuck Norris was a kid he didn't play with Lincoln Logs, he built real houses.
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You know "The Matrix" that was Chuck Norris' very first dream.
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Chuck Norris never uses a navigation system.
The direction he is heading is ALWAYS the right direction.
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Chuck Norris walked his version of a 40-yard dash in 5.6 seconds; he was later told it was the Boston Marathon.
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Chuck Norris steps into the confession booth.
The Priests confess his sins.
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When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.
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Chuck Norris doesn't check under his bed for monsters, monsters check on top of the bed to see if Chuck Norris is sleeping.
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Chuck Norris can play PS3 games - on PS1
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Chuck Norris one checked the Library of Congress for typos during his lunch hour.
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