Ozzy Osbourne once accidentally bit the head off a live bat - Chuck Norris once deliberately bit the head off a live pterodactyl.
Chuck Norris doesn't smile, his mouth smiles for him.
Chuck Norris was a comedian, but everyone started to die of laughter.
Chuck Norris is the reason terrorists hide in caves.
When Chuck Norris was 12 years old, he mauled a pit bull.
One day Chuck Norris went into Wal Mart. The clerk told him to have a nice day. The next day the clerk was found dead. The police asked Chuck Norris if he killed her and he said yes so they asked him why. He said " Nobody tells Chuck Norris what to do"
Chuck Norris can light the contents of the Windows recycle bin on fire.
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
Stores accept Monopoly money from Chuck Norris.
Big Foot discovered Chuck Norris and hid in the forest.