Chuck Norris does not need guns to win, he only uses them to fight fairly.
Chuck Norris's tombstone will say, "He's finally taking a nap, do not wake."
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - three times.
Chuck Norris doesn't sleep with a teddy bear. He sleeps with a real bear.
Chuck Norris sleeps until he tells the sun to get up.
Chuck Norris uses battery acid for eye drops.
Chuck Norris doesn't blink...reality pauses.
The true reason why the Nazi's lost the war was because they stopped trying after they found out Chuck Norris had a summer home in Russia.
Chuck Norris doesn't have a Facebook, he has a Fistbook... No one's his friend.
When Superman wants vacation time it has to be approved by Chuck Norris.
Guns need a licence to bear Chuck Norris.