Chuck Norris does not need guns to win, he only uses them to fight fairly.
Chuck Norris' beard can etch a sketch a picture of chuck killing a man. When the last line is drawn, that man dies!
The best part of waking up is not the Folgers in your cup, it's knowing that Chuck Norris didn't kill you in your sleep.
The only reason Osama Bin Laden is dead is because they finally let Chuck Norris into Pakistan...
Q: How many licks does it take Chuck Norris to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? A: Zero. He simply stares at the candy and the outer coating is gone.
Chuck Norris doesn't have to face the consequences, the consequences have to face Chuck Norris.
I once made a joke about Chuck Norr...
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
Chuck Norris once played The Price Is Right. The prices attempted to guess the numbers Chuck Norris was thinking of.
Chuck Norris never reads the News – because Chuck Norris IS the News.
Usain Bolt only began running when he heard, Chuck Norris was in Jamaica shooting a commercial for Red Bull.