Chuck Norris does not need guns to win, he only uses them to fight fairly.
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In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
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Chuck Norris can stare you to death while looking the other direction!
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Chuck Norris can get breakfast at McDonalds after 11, at Taco Bell.
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Fire trucks and ambulances pull to the shoulder when chuck Norris drives by.
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Chuck Norris doesn't blow out brithday candles, they surrender their flames willingly.
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hen Chuck Norris goes fishing he stands at the edge of the water and says: "Don`t make me go in there to get you".
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Chuck Norris doesn't die...he just sleep in the ground for a little bit.
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Never tell Chuck Norris he lost the game because he will make you lose the game then roundhouse kick you in the face making you lose twice.
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Before each filming of Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris is injected with fourteen times the lethal dose of elephant tranquilzer.
This is, of course, to limit his strength and mobility, in an attempt to lower the fatality rate of the actors he fights.
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Chuck Norris doesn't cry.
His eyes sweat.
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