Chuck Norris once kicked Hulk in the face, so Hulk ran into the woods. He is now known as Shrek.
Chuck Norris beat a black hole in a tug of war.
Chuck Norris had a knife thrown at him... the knife didn't impale him, he impaled the knife.
Chuck Norris can hit you so hard your blood will bleed.
Bill Gates once asked Chuck Norris to be his personal body guard for an hour, he couldn't afford it...
When Chuck Norris works out, he doesn't sweat. His body cries.
The only reason you woke up this morning is because Chuck Norris allowed you too.
Chuck Norris once gave a fire hydrant a ticket for being next to his parked car.
Chuck Norris killed Heath Ledger... nobody ruins the image of cowboys and lives.
Chuck Norris was worshipped as a god by the Eskimos. That is why they had igloos modeled after his signature move.
Chuck Norris can get a strike in bowling using a ping-pong ball.