Chuck Norris once kicked Hulk in the face, so Hulk ran into the woods.
He is now known as Shrek.
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Chuck Norris can cut a saw with a wood board.
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When Chuck Norris cuts onions, the onins cry.
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Chuck Norris had his first job as a paperboy.
"There were no survivors."
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Steve Austin had to be rebuilt as the Six Million Dollar Man after he looked Chuck Norris in the eye, shook his hand and then went weak at the knees.
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Chuck Norris won the London Marathon in 2005 while sunbathing in California.
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Chuck Norris used to date Hurricane Katrina.
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Not everyone that Chuck Norris is mad at gets killed.
Some get away.
They are called astronauts.
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Chuck Norris made Newton write 3 laws of physics just to break them... he was having a boring weekend.
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When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
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In an attempt to end WWII, President Harry Truman had Chuck Norris parachuted into Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
Sept. 2, 1945, the Japanese surrendered.
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