How many push-ups can Chuck Norris do?
All of them.
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A meteor did not kill the dinosaurs, Chuck Norris just went on a hunting trip.
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When Chuck Norris hired his bodyguards, he figured he was paying to save someone.
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Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
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Chuck Norris throws a dodgeball at you, knocks all your teeth out.
Then the ball hits you.
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If you poke Chuck Norris on facebook he will kick you.
On facebook!
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Researchers once tried to measure Chuck Norris' IQ, but found that numbers don't count that high.
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Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.
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Chuck Norris doesn’t shave; he kicks himself in the face.
The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris's computer has no "backspace" button, Chuck Norris doesn't make mistakes.
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Do you know why God is called "God"?
Because "Chuck Norris" is already taken.
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