How many push-ups can Chuck Norris do? All of them.
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
Every resturant has a drive thru when you're riding shotgun with Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris's 1st Grade teacher asked him how many stars there were on the American Flag. Chuck Norris replied "Yes." and was correct.
Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill.
Chuck Norris' primary weapon in Call of Duty is his roundhouse kick.
Chuck Norris once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography.
When Chuck Norris was a baby, he sucked on a pacifier and made it cry.
Chuck Norris can play the violin with a piano.
Yo mamma so ugly she scares Chuck Norris!
Chuck Norris sent a e-mail through the postal service.