How many push-ups can Chuck Norris do?
All of them.
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Although it is not common knowledge, there are actually three sides to the Force: the light side, the dark side, and Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't smile, his mouth smiles for him.
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Chuck Norris can watch an episode of 60 Minutes in a half-hour.
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Santa leaves out cookies for Chuck Norris.
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If Chuck Norris ran for president, the competition would drop out, and he would get infinite terms.
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Chuck Norris can tap dance though a mine field... wearing clown shoes.
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Chuck Norris can make you fold a Royal Flush.
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Ckuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet...he scares the shit out of it.
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When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
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Chuck Norris can "make it rain in Southern California".
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