A guy walks into a sperm donor bank wearing a ski mask and holding a gun.
He goes up to the nurse and demands her to open the sperm bank vault.
She says, "But sir, its just a sperm bank!"
"I don't care, open it now!" he replies.
So she opens the door to the vault and inside are all the sperm samples.
The guy says, "Take one of those sperm samples and drink it!" she looks at him, "BUT, they are sperm samples?"
"DO IT!"
So the nurse sucks it back.
"That one there, drink that one as well," so the nurse drinks that one as well.
Finally after 4 samples the man takes off his ski mask and says, "See honey its not that hard."
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Q: Why is a sheep better than a woman?
A: A sheep doesn't care if you fuck her sister.
A guy walks into a bar and sits on a stool.
In front of him he see's a big jar full of change and a little card that reads:
"Hello, if you would like to win all of this money you have to make the horse at the end of the bar laugh.
COST $5"
So, he puts in five dollars and takes the horse into the bathroom.
Two minutes later they come out and the horse is laughing so hard that he pissed on the floor.
So the guy takes the money and leaves.
The next day the same guy walks in the bar again and see's the horse and the jar, this time it says:
"You can win all of this if you make the horse cry.
COST $10"
So he puts in 10 dollars and takes the horse into the bathroom.
Four minutes later they come out and the horse is crying like no body ever had.
So the guy takes the jar but before he could leave the bartender asks "How did you do that?"
The guy says "The first time I told him my dick was bigger than his and the second time I showed him!"
A woman walks into a saloon and stands on a chair.
"Fellas! My p***y is so big that I'll give $100 to anyone who has something that I can't take."
A big cowboy gets up and takes off his size 16 cowboy boots and shoves them into her p***y.
The boots are sucked right in.
He grabs a flashlight and, that too, is sucked in.
He puts his face in between her legs to get a better look and he gets sucked in.
Inside he hears noises.
"Is someone else in here?" he asks.
"Yeah, I've been in here for a week," the voice says.
"Help me find my flashlight and we can get out of here," the cowboy says.
"Hell," says the other man, "help me find my keys and we can drive out."
Are you an elevator?
Cause I wanna go down on you.
What has 100 teeth and eats weiners?
A zipper!
A young punk gets on the cross-town bus.
He's got spiked, multi-colored hair that's green, purple, and orange.
His clothes are a tattered mix of leather rags.
His legs are bare and he's wearing worn-out shoes.
His entire face and body are riddled with pierced jewelry and his earrings are big, bright feathers.
He sits down in the only vacant seat that's directly across from an old man who glares at him for the next ten miles.
Finally, the punk gets self-conscious and barks at the old man, "What are you looking at you old fart... didn't you ever do anything wild when you were young?"
Without missing a beat, the old man replies, "Yeah, back when I was young and in the Navy, I got really drunk one night in Singapore and screwed a parrot....
I thought maybe you were my son.''
What said Adam to Eva at they’re first rendezvous?
Get back!
I have no idea how big it grows!
Little Sally came home from school with a proud smile on her face.
She told her mum, "Frankie Brown showed me his willy today."
Before mum could raise a concern sally said, "It reminded me of a peanut..."
With a secret smile mum asked, "Was it really small?"
Sally replied, "No... really salty!"
Q: What's a blonde's favorite drink
A: A cocktail.