Two hunters are out in the wood when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other man pulls out his cell phone and calls emergency services. He gasps to the operator:"My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator in a calm, soothing voice replies:"Take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead. There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the hunter seys,"Ok, now what?"
A guy is walking along the beach, when he sees a woman with no arms and no legs lying on the sand, crying. He walks over to her and asks what's wrong. "I've never been hugged before" she says. Thinking this is a simple enough request, the man hugs her. She soon starts crying again. He again asks what's wrong, and she replies, "I've never been kissed before." The man again complies with her wishes and gives her a romantic kiss. She starts crying again, and the man, slightly irritated, asks what's her problem. "I've never been fucked before" she says. So he picks her up and throws her in the ocean and says, "There, now you're fucked."
Why are test tube babies the most beautiful ones? Because they're hand made.
Q: Why does Dr. Pepper come in bottles? A: Because his wife died.
First cannibal: "Come and have dinner in our but tonight." Second cannibal: "What are you having?" First cannibal: "Hard-boiled legs."
What do Princess Diana and Pink Floyd have in common? Their last big hit was The Wall.
If you throw a kitten out of a moving car, would it be considered kitty litter?
It is genetically pre-recorded in men’s brain to look for a women, which is alike his mother – said Mr. John to the judge at the court, where he was being blamed for raping his sister.
First Cannibal: "Have you seen the dentist?" Second Cannibal: "Yes, he filled my teeth at dinner time."
Q: What do you call an afghan virgin A: Never bin laid on.
What’s the difference between a dead baby and an onion. You don’t cry when you chop up a dead baby.