Chuck Norris can alphabetize m&m's
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Chuck actually died four years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
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As an infant, Chuck Norris' parents gave him a toy hammer.
He gave the world Stonehenge.
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Chuck Norris dosn't have a star on Hollywood Blvd he has a constellation.
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Death was created after Chuck Norris was born.
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Chuck Norris built the never ending stairs.
Then he climbed it up.
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Chuck Norris was sitting around a campfire with two cowboys.
The cowboys were competing to see which one is more hardcore.
The first one says," Once, I was charged by an angry bull. I proceeded to jump on its back and kill it by gorging its eyes out."
The second says, " Once I was swimming in a river, and an annocanda tried to strangle me. I ripped its head off with my teeth."
Chuck norris just smiles and continues tending to the campfire with his penis.
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When Chuck Norris has a heart attack, he attacks back.
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When Chuck Norris went to Easter island, he couldn't understand why other tourists kept asking him to pose for photos next to the stone monoliths.
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Chuck Norris does, in fact, put his pants on two legs at a time.
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Chuck Norris found the stairway to heaven, but he prefers the elevator.
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