Chuck Norris never actually moves.
He merely rotates the earth with his feet.
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Chuck Norris made a statue bleed.
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Chuck Norris can cash two party, out of state checks with no ID, or else!
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Chuck Norris once ran in a movie marathon.... and won.
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Chuck Norris has never won a single fight.
Winning would imply some sort of competition or chance that he could loose.
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Once Chuck Norris swam all the oceans for 7 days and oceans got cold.
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When Clark Kent goes into a phonebooth, Superman comes out.
When Chuck Norris goes into a phone booth, it explodes and Chuck walks away.
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The supreme court issued a ban not allowing Chuck Norris to flex his muscles, for fear of public safety.
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Chuck Norris is the reason terrorists hide in caves.
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Chuck Norris can flush a port-a-potty.
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Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
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