Chuck Norris never actually moves.
He merely rotates the earth with his feet.
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Chuck Norris puts phone companies on hold.
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Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.
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Chuck Norris once slapped a headless man.
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Chuck Norris once round house kicked a bear while on a survival trek in Siberia.
That incident was known as the Tunguska event.
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When Chuck Norris eats dinner at a restaurant, the wait staff tips him.
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Chuck Norris can pick oranges from an apple tree and make the best lemonade youve ever tasted.
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When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat kids into a camp fire.
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Chuck Norris looked Medusa straight in the eyes, and laughed.
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Chuck Norris once sued a Law and Order Company because those are the trademark item names of his right and left legs.
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Superman can leap tall buildings in a single bound.
Chuck Norris just picks the buildings up and moves them out of his way.
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