Chuck Norris never actually moves.
He merely rotates the earth with his feet.
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Chuck Norris once created a time machine and had to fight himself.
We call it The Big Bang.
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When Jacques Cousteau reached the bottom of the sea he found Chuck Norris snorkeling.
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Chuck Norris once rolled a dice.
It landed on tails.
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Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar.
The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.
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Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands.
They are now The Islands.
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Chuck Norris dosent swim, water just likes him.
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Chuck Norris can ski up a mountain.
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Chuck did enter the Dragon.
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The sun cannot look directly at Chuck Norris.
It must use specialized equipment just to gaze upon his silhouette
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Only Chuck Norris can cross the "Beyond" section of Bed, Bath and Beyond store.
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