Chuck Norris never actually moves. He merely rotates the earth with his feet.
Chuck Norris can't fly, gravity just looks the other way when he leaves the ground.
There was no volcanic eruption in Iceland - Chuck Norris opened the BBQ season.
There was no world recession, just Chuck Norris desiring a discount.
Chuck Norris Turns his grass emo so it will cut itself.
Chuck Norris uses a gun to be humane.
Chuck Norris can make scissors beat rock.
Global warming is the result of Chuck Norris getting mad.
Chuck Norris stem cells can reproduce missing limbs.
If you click on start, run, then type in Chuck Norris you will get a permanent blue screen of death.