Chuck Norris never actually moves.
He merely rotates the earth with his feet.
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Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
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Chuck Norris caught them all with one PokeBall.
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Chuck Norris once ran in a movie marathon.... and won.
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Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
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Chuck Norris was banned from going to "housewarming" parties because he kept burning them down.
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Chuck Norris checks under his bed for Fedor Emelianenko because he takes Fedor to the vet regularly.
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A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.
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There was no Big Bang at the beginning of the Universe, Chuck Norris simply sneezed.
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Aliens fear that Chuck Norris might abduct them.
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Yo mamma so ugly she scares Chuck Norris!
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