Chuck Norris never actually moves. He merely rotates the earth with his feet.
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
huck Norris was supposed to star in the tv show 'Man vs Wild', but the network did not want kids thinking 'lava is safe to eat'.
When Chuck Norris punches someone in the stomach they get hit in the back of the head.
Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg was recently hospitalize, because Chuck Norris poked him.
There's a medical term for those who willingly defy Chuck Norris... organ donors.
Chuck Norris can build a house from the roof down.
People sell their souls to the devil. The devil sells his soul to Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris' driver's license simply shows his shoe size.
Chuck Norris writes on pencils with paper.
Chuck Norris invented 1080p so people could see his beard is made of razor wire.