Chuck Norris isn't on Earth, the Earth is on Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once lost the remote, but maintained control of the TV by yelling at it in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich.
While we all get checked by the airport security, Chuck checks the airport security.
God is one of Chuck Norris's creation.
Chuck Norris can facebook through a calculator.
Chuck Norris doesn't make typos. Words simply stutter in his presence.
The only apocolypse that can happen is if bogyman insults Chuck Norris. The whole universe goes to hell.
Chuck Norris can actually describe the taste of purified water.
Armageddon is defined as the day Chuck Norris gets bored with us.
Chuck Norris can access the internet from a walkie talkie.
When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesn’t get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.