Chuck Norris isn't on Earth, the Earth is on Chuck Norris.
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Lays chips claims "No one can eat just one".
Wrong.
Chuck Norris ate ONE, laughed then ate a whole bag of Doritos.
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Chuck Norris can tie his shoes with his feet.
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In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job".
That is the story of the universe.
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Chuck Norris invented the printing press by putting two pieces of blank paper together.
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Chuck Norris didn't survive the first night in Minecraft, the first night survived Chuck Norris.
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There's a medical term for those who willingly defy Chuck Norris... organ donors.
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Chuck Norris can run so fast he can cause time travel.
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When Chuck Norris plays hangman, he decides what the word is.
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Chuck Norris can eat just one pringle.
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There was no Big Bang at the beginning of the Universe, Chuck Norris simply sneezed.
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