Chuck Norris isn't on Earth, the Earth is on Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris was born, the only person crying was the doctor.
15 years ago I started a burping contest with Chuck Norris... who had the longest? I don't know he is still busy.
Chuck Norris can suck a black hole.
People say "bless you" when you sneeze because Chuck Norris might catch your soul. It's a myth. Chuck Norris can take your soul whenever he wants.
Chuck Norris had to stop washing his clothes in the ocean. The tsunamis were killing people.
The second hardest element in the universe is Chuck Norris. The first only comes into existance when Chuck gets excited.
Chuck Norris has 5 bathtubs, they are known as the Great Lakes.
Chuck Norris doesn't throw up if he drinks too much. Chuck Norris throws down!
Chuck Norris once won the Iditarod by pulling his team of dogs on the sled.
Chuck Norris has a vacation home on the sun.