Chuck Norris isn't on Earth, the Earth is on Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris won a soccer game. He was the referee.
Chuck Norris can switch his motorcycle to four-wheel drive.
Chuck Norris can over rev a revolver.
It's a proven fact that you will go blind faster staring at a picture of Chuck Norris than you would staring at the sun.
Before each filming of Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris is injected with fourteen times the lethal dose of elephant tranquilzer.
This is, of course, to limit his strength and mobility, in an attempt to lower the fatality rate of the actors he fights.
Chuck Norris can unscramble eggs.
Chuck Norris can experience a once in a life time occurrence... twice.
Chuck Norris turns his game off while saving.
The city of Dallas wanted to name a major street Chuck Norris Boulevard but decided against it because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives!
Chuck Norris made Dirty Harry's day.