Chuck Norris isn't on Earth, the Earth is on Chuck Norris.
Wolverine has been called indestructible because of his adamantium skeleton... until Chuck Norris broke every bone in his body.
If Chuck Norris were president, he would protect the secret service.
Chuck Norris knows what the secret crabby patty recipe is.
There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.
Chuck Norris got a homerun in bowling.
When Teddy Rosavelt said there is nothing to fear but fear itself he obiously hadn't met Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once walked down a street with his fists in his pockets. He was then arrested for concealing two deadly weapons.
Chuck Norris got added by facebook itself.
Chuck Norris once scored a field goal, using a hockey stick!
Columbus may have discovered America, but after a conversation with Chuck Norris it was decided, Chuck Norris discovered America.