Chuck Norris isn't on Earth, the Earth is on Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris does not understand any phrase that begins with "if at first you don't succeed."
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Chuck Norris finds it impossible to understand the concept of impossibility.
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Chuck Norris doesn't always drink beer, but when he does he has the dos equis guy serve it to him in a dress.
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Big foot claims he saw Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris sprinted 2 marathons - backwards.
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Chuck Norris went on Man vs Wild once.
The Wild lost.
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Not even Houdini can escape from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris once rode a bull, and nine months later it had a calf.
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Chuck Norris can bend light with a roundhouse kick.
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Chuck Norris once won a drag race with a unicycle.
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