Chuck Norris isn't on Earth, the Earth is on Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris commited suicide, and lived.
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Chuck Norris uses black holes to clean his dishes.
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Chuck Norris leaves messages before the beep.
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The universe expands because the stars believe this way will be safer from Chuck Norris.
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Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
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Willy Wonka gave an everlasting gobstopper to Chuck Norris.
The flavor lasted 2.3 seconds.
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Chuck Norris never suffers from a heart attack.
His heart is too smart to not attack him.
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Chuck Norris once slapped a headless man.
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After Chuck Norris created Jazz he decided to do a bit of scat, today we refer to his song as the alphabet.
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Batman is to Robin as Chuck Norris is to Death.
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