Chuck Norris isn't on Earth, the Earth is on Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris abducts aliens.
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Chuck Norris doesn't lift weights he tells his muscles to get bigger.
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Chuck Norris was once shot.
The bullet died.
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Scientists believe that a giant meteor killed off the dinosaurs.
This is true, if you can consider Chuck Norris to be a giant meteor.
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Chuck Norris uses the lethal injection to have a 5min nap.
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When Chuck Norris breaks the speed limit, no one can put it back together again.
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Chuck Norris is the only person that can stab you with a basketball- Brandon De La Riva.
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Chuck Norris didn't cross the road... he was already on the other side...
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If Chuck Norris met Dora the Explorer, he'd introduce her to his Boots.
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Researchers once tried to measure Chuck Norris' IQ, but found that numbers don't count that high.
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