Chuck Norris isn't on Earth, the Earth is on Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can literally kill time.
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They once had a showing of Walker Texas Ranger in 3D.
There where no survivors.
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April doesn't fool Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris fools April.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need to mow his lawn, He dares the grass to grow.
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The Animal Crackers that Chuck Norris eats are made from real animals.
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Q: What do a bungee jump cord and a hooker have in common?
A: If the rubber breaks you're screwed.
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Human cloning is outlawed because if Chuck Norris were cloned, then it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to meet another chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe.
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Chuck Norris created the platypus by roundhouse kicking a duck at a beaver.
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When Chuck Norris laughs he busts your gut.
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Chuck Norris eats granite and drinks lava for his lunch.
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