Chuck Norris isn't on Earth, the Earth is on Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure.
Chuck Norris goes killing.
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Chuck Norris is not impressed with your facts...
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Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
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On Halloween, children give Chuck Norris candy.
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Chuck Norris doesn't do his taxes.....he just sends a blank tax form with his picture on it.
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In the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn't chasing the jeep.
Chuck Norris was chasing the Tyrannosaurus and the jeep.
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Aliens believe in Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.
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Trick me once, shame on you, trick Chuck Norris... rest in peace.
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Chuck Norris can breath out with his nose and breath in with his mouth at the same time.
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