Chuck Norris sprinted 2 marathons - backwards.
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Note to self:
Don’t be the cashier to tell Chuck Norris his coupons have expired.
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When you're Chuck Norris, anything + anything is equal to 1. One roundhouse kick to the face.
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The energizer bunny freezes when it sees Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris' Facebook status has a dislike button...nobody clicks it.
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Some people break the laws of the state, Chuck Norris breaks the laws of physics.
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There is no such thing as an endangered species, they are Chuck's likes and dislikes.
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Chuck Norris CAN get blood from a stone.
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Chuck Norris failed recess because he dosent play games.
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Chuck Norris doesn't smoke cigars.
He smokes smoke grenades.
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Chuck Norris doesn't run out of bullets, bullets run out of Norrises.
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