Wonder Woman's magic Lasso is actually one of Chuck Norris' chest hairs.
Q: What is the sound of Chuck Norris clapping one hand? A: Thunder.
Chuck Norris cuts off parts of his beard and sells it...we know this as kevlar.
Chuck Norris pitties Mr. T.
Chuck Norris scares cows so bad, milk comes out their nose.
Chuck Norris can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.
Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off of bats. Chuck Norris bites the heads off of Siberian Tigers.
When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.
Chuck Norris jumped off a building once. The ground didn't make it.
Gravity is Space's way of trying to keep Chuck Norris away from it.
Chuck Norris beat a black hole in a tug of war.