Wonder Woman's magic Lasso is actually one of Chuck Norris' chest hairs.
Lehman Brothers owed Chuck Norris a fiver. When he asked for payback, well, you know the rest.
Chuck Norris digs up gold - from silver linings.
Chuck Norris can sit at the corner of a round table
There will never be a zombie apocalypse, because when Chuck Norris bites zombies, they turn back into humans.
Chuck Norris kills time in his spare time.
Spider-man can crawl on walls and ceilings, Chuck Norris can crawl on water.
Chuck Norris can pick "side" when flipping a coin.
When batman is in trouble, he turns on the Chuck Norris signal.
Chuck Norris once starred in Wheel of Fortune. The last twenty nine minutes were spent in an awkward silence, waiting for the wheel to stop spinning.
The only time Chuck Norris has ever faced a worthy opponent is when he looked at himself in the mirror.