Wonder Woman's magic Lasso is actually one of Chuck Norris' chest hairs.
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When observing a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick in slow motion one finds that Chuck Norris actually rapes his victim in the ass, smokes a cigarette with Dennis Leary, and then roundhouse kicks them in the face.
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Chuck Norris cannot only accelerate beyond the speed of light.
He can also accelerate beyond the speed of dark.
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Messing with Chuck Norris is the only thing that will get you disqualified from a Colonial Penn Life Insurance policy - at any age.
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Chuck Norris beat Super Mario Galaxie 2 in the big dipper... before Nintendo was invented.
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When I was a kid, my Chuck Norris action figure broke all my other toys while I was at school.
When my mom tried to throw him away, he killed her.
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Chick Norris has never pooped because nothing scares the shot out of Chuck Norris.
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Apple, Microsoft and Sony, among others, strive to invent the most cool device to please Chuck Norris, the fail all the time.
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Chuck Norris protects his body guards.
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Bigfoot thinks Chuck Norris is a myth
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A black hole is where Chuck Norris ripped the universe a new one.
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