Chuck Norris' beard can shave a razor.
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When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris steps into the confession booth.
The Priests confess his sins.
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Before god said, "Let there be light," he asked Chuck Norris,"Can light let there be?"
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If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results.
It just doesn't happen.
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During the Vietnam War, Chuck Norris allowed himself to be captured.
For torture, they made him eat his own entrails.
He asked for seconds.
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A watched kettle never boils... unless Chuck Norris is doing the watching, in which case it explodes.
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Chuck Norris can experience a once in a life time occurrence... twice.
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When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off
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April doesn't fool Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris fools April.
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Chuck Norris was the Best Man at his own wedding.
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