Chuck Norris' beard can shave a razor.
Sticks and stones may break your bones but Chuck Norris' fists will kill you.
Chuck Norris can lift up a chair with one hand... While he's sitting on it...
Chuck Norris once entered a black hole just to see what was in it. Dissapointed, he then walked out.
Santa Claus goes to the mall to sit on Chuck Norris' lap.
Superman got his powers when Chuck Norris sneezed on him.
Chuck Norris once round house kicked a bear while on a survival trek in Siberia. That incident was known as the Tunguska event.
Chuck Norris can finish Sims.
The Guinness Book of World Records is actually Chuck Norris' elementary school report card.
E only equals MC² because Chuck Norris allows it too.
Chuck Norris once won a game of Space Invaders without shooting.