You can't win a starring contest with Chuck Norris becuase when you look in to his eyes you see hell starring right back at you.
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Jesus is the son of God.
God is the son of Chuck Norris.
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Angelina Jolie can curve a bullet. Chuck Norris can curve a laser.
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The second hardest element in the universe is Chuck Norris.
The first only comes into existance when Chuck gets excited.
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Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee.
This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a f***ing Indian.
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Chuck Norris doesn't scroll with a mouse.
He uses a lion.
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If you stare at the ameican flag long enough you'll see a 3D image of Chuck Norris.
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A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people.
It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
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Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
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Chuck Norris has nicknames for his feet... Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
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Leonardo DiCaprio had to ask permission from Chuck Norris to say the famous line "I'm the king of the world."
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