You can't win a starring contest with Chuck Norris becuase when you look in to his eyes you see hell starring right back at you.
Chuck Norris once was pulled over by a policeman for speeding. Chuck gave him a warning.
When Chuck Norris touched a Prius, it turned into a Ferrari
Chuck Norris knows what the secret crabby patty recipe is.
Chuck Norris, Mr T and Arnold Swieznigger died in a plane crash they got to heavens door way and god asked them what there business is. Arnold replied "I want to be your right hand man". Mr T said "I wanna be your left hand man". Chuck Norris said "get the fuck out of my chair".
Chuck Norris saw the Invisible Man.
Everyone knows the speed of light... Chuck Norris knows the speed of darkness.
Nuclear weapons were discovered after a failed attempt to harness the power of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is the greatest thing, period, despite his invention of sliced bread.
Chuck Norris is the reason terrorists hide in caves.
When Chuck Norris watches a horror movie, Chuck Norris dosen't scream, the movie does.