Chuck Norris found the Hidden Valley Ranch.
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Chuck Norris can go Platinum on a Blank CD.
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Chuck Norris' Motto is: "The beard is mightier than the sword."
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Chuck Norris is so powerful he can jumpstart a car by attaching the cables to his chest hair.
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Chuck Norris doesnt eat lunch, he drinks dinner.
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When Chuck Norris burns calories, he uses a flamethrower.
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You know why Chuck Norris is always on top during sex?
Because he never fucks up.
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Chuck Norris was once tested for steroids.
The results came back positive.
When confronted with this information, Chuck Norris chuckled and said, "Of course, what do you think they make steroids from?"
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Chuck Norris beat Super Mario Galaxie 2 in the big dipper... before Nintendo was invented.
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Chuck Norris didn't shoot the sheriff, but he roundhouse kicked the deputy.
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When Chuck Norris enters a sauna the sauna starts sweating.
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