Chuck Norris found the Hidden Valley Ranch.
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Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour.
He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
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Chuck Norris can turn on clapper lights by flexing.
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Chuck Norris won the Kentucky derby, on a Unicorn.
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Chuck Norris can alphabetize m&m's
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Always be yourself, unless you can be Chuck Norris, then always be Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris has never received an electricity bill, he powers everything with his rage
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Chuck Norris' day consists of 25 hours.
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Chuck Norris made time wait.
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Chuck Norris has never taken a test, because no one questions Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need health care, everyone in his viewing range does.
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