There was no world recession, just Chuck Norris desiring a discount.
Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear isn't dead it is just afriad to move.
In 1986 the U.S.S.R. attempted to clone Chuck Norris. The scientists failure was covered up and we now know their attempt as the Chernobyl disaster.
Right angles used to be called wrong angles until Chuck said, "I don't see anything wrong with them."
Chuck Norris once created a time machine and had to fight himself. We call it The Big Bang.
Chuck Norris can use a Shake Weight without looking gay.
Armageddon is defined as the day Chuck Norris gets bored with us.
Chuck norris went skydiving and his parachute failed to open, so he took it back the next day for a refund
When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
Chuck Norris once caught a cold, then he killed it!