Chuck Norris can copy and paste on a typewriter.
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We live in an expanding universe.
All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris.
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The phrase "Just a second" comes from the time it takes for Chuck Norris to heat up a cup of coffee... with his breath.
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If you are stuck on a test and you don't know the answer to a question, write in Chuck Norris.
The answer is always Chuck Norris.
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When Chuck Norris lifts weights, the weights get stronger.
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Few people can go down Niagra Falls in a barrel.
Chuck Norris can go up Niagra Falls in a carboard box.
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There are no comets.
Only people that Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked so hard that they are now in permanent orbit in our solar system.
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If you carefully examine your health insurance policy, you will see that there is no cover for "Chuck Norris related incidents".
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If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'till."
After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
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When Chuck Norris goes to the gym the treadmill sweats.
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Chuck Norris won the Kentucky derby, on a Unicorn.
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