Chuck Norris can copy and paste on a typewriter.
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When Chuck Norris tries to kill himself, he always dodges the killing blow 'cause he's that awesome.
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Chuck Norris doesn't push someone out of the way of a car, he pushes the car out of the way of the person.
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If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you.
If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.
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Chuck Norris can pour a pancake so thin that it only has one side.
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Someone once broke into Chuck Norris' house and instead of stealing anything they gave Chuck Norris everything they owned.
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A bulletproof vest wears Chuck Norris for protection.
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Once while having s*x in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm escaped and ran into the engine.
We now know this truck....as Optimus Prime.
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Originally Chuck Norris was in the cast of "The Expendables" but the movie was only 3 seconds long because there was nothing left to kill.
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Chuck Norris found the 51st shade of gray.
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When Chuck Norris was a kid he didn't play with Lincoln Logs, he built real houses.
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