Chuck Norris can breath out with his nose and breath in with his mouth at the same time.
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Chuck Norris can count the number of corners in a circle.
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Chuck Norris once went skydiving but promised never to do it again.
One Grand Canyon is enough.
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Chuck actually died four years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
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When Jacques Cousteau reached the bottom of the sea he found Chuck Norris snorkeling.
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Everybody knows that Chuck Norris can't shoot a bow even though he got 5 bullseyes in a row.
The only reason he got the bullseye is that his arrows know better than to miss.
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Chuck Norris gave Iceman frostbite.
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Chuck Norris smells what the Rock is cooking... because the Rock is Chuck Norris' personal chef.
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Lehman Brothers owed Chuck Norris a fiver.
When he asked for payback, well, you know the rest.
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Ed and Lorraine Warren have the doll Anabelle locked in a glass case in their basement, a priest comes there every week to whisper Chuck Norris's name in its ear.
The doll locked itself in the case upon first hearing the name.
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Chuck Norris went to school so he could be studied.
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