Chuck Norris can breath out with his nose and breath in with his mouth at the same time.
Chuck Norris uses 8'x10' sheets of plywood as toilet paper.
When a mime sees Chuck Norris, he makes a glass wall and pretends he's dead.
Chuck Norris used to be a soccer referee. He lost the job after giving penalties to the players: Death Penalty.
Chuck Norris gave birth to himself because nobody else is capable (or could even live) to give birth to Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris was the reason the Titanic sank. The iceberg was just a cover-up.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
The role of terminator was originaly played by Chuck Norris, but they decided against it as no-one would want to shit their pants for two hours strait.
Few people can go down Niagra Falls in a barrel. Chuck Norris can go up Niagra Falls in a carboard box.
Labradoodles were made when Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked a Labrador and a Poodle at the same time.
When you break a leg it is actually not your leg that is broken. It´s Chuck Norris´s leg. He owns everything including you and your pityful leg.