Chuck Norris won a marathon on a treadmill.
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Chuck Norris has never won an Academy Award for acting... because he's not acting.
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Chuck Norris doesn't use a fire extinguisher to put out fires... he just tells the fire to stop burning.
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When you come to a road that says "ONE WAY", that mean Chuck Norris is the other way.
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Chuck Norris talks in my sleep.
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Chuck Norris can comment on Facebook posts, before you publish them.
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Chuck Norris only mast*rbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris never actually moves.
He merely rotates the earth with his feet.
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When Chuck Norris played the card game War with a friend, France surrendered.
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Chuck Norris was once tested for steroids.
The results came back positive.
When confronted with this information, Chuck Norris chuckled and said, "Of course, what do you think they make steroids from?"
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Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the probability of failure.
Chuck Norris goes killing.
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