Chuck Norris won a marathon on a treadmill.
When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is spelled with a silent "awesome".
The second hardest element in the universe is Chuck Norris. The first only comes into existance when Chuck gets excited.
The beatles originally said they were "Bigger than Chuck Norris", John Lennon was simply a warning.
Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.
They once made a "Chuck Norris" brand toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
What does the fox say? Whatever the hell Chuck Norris tells him to.
Michael Jordan is the greatest basketball player of all-time because Chuck Norris never played.
Chuck Norris can power solar panels. At Night.
Chuck Norris' Motto is: "The beard is mightier than the sword."