Chuck Norris won a marathon on a treadmill.
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Chuck Norris once ordered a steak in a restaurant.
The steak did what it was told.
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Chuck Norris made a statue bleed.
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Chuck Norris won one million dollars gambling playing Solitaire.
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Chuck Norris called McDonald's through the television.
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The only Christmas present Chuck Norris ever gives is allowing you to live.
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Chuck Norris can tell you what a lethal injection feels like
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Chuck Norris never swam.
Every time he was about to get in a pool the water ran away in terror!
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Chuck Norris was once bitten by a venomous cobra ....
After 5 days of excrutiating pain the cobra
Eventually died
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The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out.
It failed miserably.
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The war with Japan would have ended sooner, but the allies decided that dropping Chuck Norris on Hiroshima would be a crime against humanity.
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