There was no volcanic eruption in Iceland - Chuck Norris opened the BBQ season.
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Prisons don’t keep society safe from criminals.
Prisons keep criminals safe from Chuck Norris, for now.
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Chuck Norris never swam.
Every time he was about to get in a pool the water ran away in terror!
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Chuck Norris made time wait.
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Chuck Norris was banned from the Olympics because his mere presence is considered a performance-enhancing substance.
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Chuck Norris does not play the lottery.
It doesn't have nearly enough balls.
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When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesn’t get charged.
He holds up the phone and money falls out.
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Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass.
At night.
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When Chuck Norris breaks a sweat... he tries to do it as quickly as possible so as not to hurt it.
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When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.
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Chuck Norris has a diary.
It's called the Guinness Book of World Records.
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