There was no volcanic eruption in Iceland - Chuck Norris opened the BBQ season.
If he wanted to, Chuck Norris could rob a bank. By phone.
Chuck Norris can't be racist, because to him there are no people, just light and dark targets.
When Chuck Norris plays sudoku, he can put two same numbers in one square and still solve it right.
Chuck Norris is the only person who can write history of the future.
Chuck Norris invented 1080p so people could see his beard is made of razor wire.
Q: What is the sound of Chuck Norris clapping one hand? A: Thunder.
Chuck Norris doesn't vote. He elects!
Whiteboards are white because Chuck Norris scared them that way.
Chuck Norris doesn't need a particle accelerator to collide atoms, he just smashes his fists together.
When Chuck Norris pokes you on Facebook, you die.