The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
Chuck Norris has only used the 'Total Gym' twice in his life. When his eyes are open - and when they are closed.
Chuck Norris could actually win on Takeshi's Castle.
Chuck Norris doesn't need to change the past. He has never made any mistakes.
Once while having s*x in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm escaped and ran into the engine. We now know this truck....as Optimus Prime.
Chuck Norris can talk with his mouth closed.
Chuck Norris invented the printing press by putting two pieces of blank paper together.
The cake is a lie, Chuck Norris is THE TRUTH.
Italy looks like a boot... you know who owns that boot.
When Jacques Cousteau reached the bottom of the sea he found Chuck Norris snorkeling.