The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
Nails wish they were as tough as Chuck Norris.
The sun is the burning remains of the last planet Chuck Norris pillaged.
Chuck Norris once saw Spiderman on a wall and then folded his newspaper.
Chuck Norris once broke a mirror over the head of a black cat while standing under a ladder on Friday the thirteenth. The next day he won the lottery.
Chuck Norris can suck a black hole.
Chuck Norris can see ultra-violet light.
The speed of light was instituted because Chuck Norris didn't want get winded outrunning it. Chuck Norris hates to sweat.
Chuck Norris's favourite drink is diamond juice, which he squeezes out of raw diamonds with his bare hands.
Chuck Norris never swam. Every time he was about to get in a pool the water ran away in terror!
Chuck Norris ate a sheet of paper, then later found an origami swan in the toilet.