Two blondes were driving along a road by a wheat field when they saw a blonde in the middle of the field rowing a row boat.
The driver blonde turned to her friend and said, "You know,it's blondes like that that give us a bad name!"
To this, the other blonde replies, "I know it, and if I knew how to swim, I'd go out there and drown her."
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A blonde was speeding in a 35 mile per hour zone when a local police officer pulled her over and walked up to the car.
The officer also happened to be a blonde and she asked for the blonde's driver's license.
The driver searched frantically in her purse for a while and finally said to the blonde policewoman, "What does a driver's license look like?"
Irritated, the blonde cop said, "You dummy, it's got your picture on it!"
The blonde driver frantically searched her purse again and found a small, rectangular mirror down at the bottom.
She held it up to her face and said, "Aha! This must be my driver's license" and handed it to the blonde policewoman.
The blonde cop looked in the mirror, handed it back to the driver and said,
"You're free to go.
And, if I had known you were a police officer too, we could have avoided all of this."
How do you describe a blonde surrounded by drooling idiots?
Flattered.
Did you hear about the blonde who was a really good cook?
She could get pop tarts out of the toaster in one piece!
There's a blonde. She enters a laughing contest.
There's 10 levels to the contest. She gets to the 9th level and bursts into laughter.
The host asks her "Why did you laugh, you could have won."
The blonde reply's, "I finally got the first joke."
How do you know when a blonde has a brain fart?
Her ears flap.
Q: Why is a blonde like a turtle?
A: They both get fucked up when they're on their backs.
One day, a blonde goes into a store. She gets an item and walks up to the cashier. She says,"I'd like to buy this TV".
He says,"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes".
The next day, she dyes her hair red and goes back in the store, but the same thing happens.
Finally, she shaves her head and goes back in. When she tries to buy it for the third time, the man refuses.
She says, "How the hell do you know I'm blonde?".
He replied, "First of all, that's a microwave."
How do you guess a blond played at you’re computer?
The joystick is on the chair.
Q: How do you know if a blonde has been sending e-mail?
A: You see a bunch of envelopes stuffed into the disk drive.
Vote:
A plane is on its way to Detroit when a blonde woman in economy class gets up and moves into an open seat in the first class section.
The flight attendant watches her do this, and politely informs the woman that she must sit in economy class because that's the type of ticket she paid for.
The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Detroit and I'm staying right here."
After repeated attempts and no success at convincing the woman to move, the flight attendant goes into the cockpit and informs the pilot and co-piolet that there's a blonde bimbo sitting in first class who refuses to go back to her proper seat.
The co-pilot goes back to the woman and explains why she needs to move, but once again the woman replies by saying, "I'm blonde, I'm beatiful, I'm going to Detroit and I'm staying right here."
The co-pilot returns to the cockpit and suggests that perhaps they should have the arrival gate call the police and have the woman arrested when they land.
The pilot says, "You say she's blonde?
I'll handle this.
I'm married to a blonde.
I speak blonde."
He goes back to the woman and whispers quietly in her ear, and she says, "Oh, I'm sorry," then quickly moves back to her seat in economy class.
The flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and ask him what he said to get her to move back to economy without causing any fuss.
"I told her first class isn't going to Detroit."