Joke #2475

How do you drown a blonde? Put a scratch and sniff sticker on the bottom of the pool
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has 26.16 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: blonde

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A blonde and a brunette walk past a flower shop and see the brunette's boyfriend buying flowers. She sighs and says, "Oh crap, my boyfriend is buying me flowers again. Now, I'll be expected to spend the weekend on my back with my legs in the air." The blonde says, "Don't you have a vase?"
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has 68.73 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Boy1: A blonde and brunette are on the top of a building. Who falls off first? Boy2: The blonde? Boy1: No, she has to ask for directions on how.
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has 16.69 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: blonde
How do you confuse a blonde? Tell her to count the stairs on a escalator.
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has 80.95 % from 158 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Q. What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur around the home? A. She moved.
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has 46.10 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Postcard from a blonde: Having a wonderful time. Where am I?
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has 48.26 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: blonde, holiday
This guy was driving in a car with a blonde. He told her to stick her head out the window and see if the blinker worked. She stuck her head out and said, 'Yes, No, Yes, No, Yes...'
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has 36.90 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, driving
One day a blonde and a redhead were playing together over the redhead's house while the redhead's father was out. The father had a pet parrot, which he did n ot let anyone else touch. But, when he left, the girls took him out. The girls were playing with it, when the blonde grabbed the parrot and accidentally ripped out one of its wings. “Now you've done it!” the red head yelled at the blonde. “Go buy him another one just like that, here's some money.” The redhead went into her piggy bank and gave the blonde $50. “Okay,” said the blonde, “but it's going to hard to find a parrot with only one wing.”
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has 70.92 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A blonde biology student conducts an experiment on grasshoppers. She pulls off one of its legs at a time and yells, "Hop." The grasshopper hops each time until all of its legs are gone. The blonde concludes: when all the legs of a grasshopper are removed, it becomes deaf.
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has 72.58 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: blonde, science, student
Why did the blonde build a bridge across the river? So she could have shade when she swam across!
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has 73.68 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: blonde
One day a man, who had been stranded on a desert island for over ten years sees an unusual speck on the horizon. "It's certainly not a ship", he thinks to himself. As the speck gets closer and closer he begins to rule out the possibilities of a small boat, then even a raft. Suddenly, emerging from the surf, comes a drop dead gorgeous blonde woman wearing a wet suit and scuba gear. She approaches the stunned guy and says: "Tell me, how long has it been since you've had a cigarette?" "Ten years," replies the stunned man. With that she reaches over and unzips a waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulls out a pack of cigarettes. He takes one, lights it, takes a long drag and says: "Man, oh man! Is that good!" "And how long has it been since you've had a sip of bourbon?" she asks him. Trembling the castaway replies: "Ten years." She reaches over, unzips her right sleeve, pulls out a flask and hands it to him. He opens the flask, takes a long swig and says: "WOW, that's absolutely fantastic!" At this point she starts slowly unzipping the long zipper that runs down the front of her wet suit, looks at the man seductively, and asks: "And how long has it been since you've had some real fun?" With tears in his eyes, the guy falls to his knees and sobs: "Oh good Lord! Don't tell me you've got a laptop?"
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has 82.97 % from 191 votes. More jokes about: blonde, desert island, technology, time