When Chuck Norris burns calories, he uses a flamethrower.
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Chuck Norris can't be racist, because to him there are no people, just light and dark targets.
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Chuck Norris can whistle in five different languages, including sign language.
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Chuck Norris CAN leave Hotel California.
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When Chuck Norris hired his bodyguards, he figured he was paying to save someone.
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Chuck Norris does not get parking tickets;
he gets "thank you for parking anywhere" notes.
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If looks could kill they would be called Chuck Norris.
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When Chuck Norris runs backwards during a fight, it may seem like he's retreating.
He's not. He's just attacking from another direction.
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Chuck Norris killed the devil and is selling his own line of Picks of Destiny, available in all Chuck Norris approved guitar shops.
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Chuck Norris is so hard, he uses diamonds as stress balls.
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Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked a tadpole and turned it into a frog, then he kicked it again and it died.
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