When Chuck Norris burns calories, he uses a flamethrower.
Sundials tell the time according to the position of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can jump without leaving the ground.
Chuck Norris once went to court for a crime, the judge pleaded guilty.
Chuck Norris once slapped a headless man.
Chuck was once on the Olympics and he won all the medals but he was disqualifyed for roundhouse kicking the judges because they misspelled his name.
If Chuck Norris drinks too much, he doesn't throw up, he throws down!
Chuck Norris doesn't need oxygen tanks when scuba diving. He simply sucks all the life out of the ocean to breath.
The answer to all the questions on your history test tomorrow is Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
Chuck Norris walked his version of a 40-yard dash in 5.6 seconds; he was later told it was the Boston Marathon.