When Chuck Norris burns calories, he uses a flamethrower.
The Hulk is Green because he envys Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Chuck Norris stared in to the mirror and said, "There can only be one Chuck Norris." Then his reflection cried and walked away.
Chuck Norris broke the world record for most punches in a minute with one roundhouse kick.
Chuck Norris graduated from the School of Hard Knocks with an MBA - Mega Bad Ass.
R. Lee Ermey's war face is the face he made when he saw Chuck Norris ready to attack.
Chuck Norris does infinit loops in 4 seconds.
Chuck Norris could stab you with a worm.
Chuck Norris doesn't make typos. Words simply stutter in his presence.
The burning bush that Moses spoke of was actually Chuck Norris's beard!