Joke #2855

Q: Why are tigers religious? A: Because they prey frequently, and prey as a family!
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Q: What's the difference between a dead skunk lying in the road and a dead lawyer lying in the road? A: There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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Why do elephants squirt water through their noses? If they squirted it through their tails, it'd be very difficult to aim.
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Chuck Norris and Jean-Claude Van Damme play tug a war with live annacondas.
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What fur do we get from a tiger? As fur as possible!
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What does a spider do when he gets angry? He goes up the wall!
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Q: What is the pink stuff between elephant’s toes? A: Slow clowns.
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Q: What do you call a rooster who wakes you up at the same time every morning? A: An alarm cluck!
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If it walks like a duck, talks lidek a duck, and smell like a duck but Chuck Norris says it's a girrafe. It's a damn girrafe!
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The FAA has a device for testing the strength of windshields on airplanes. They point this thing at the windshield of the aircraft and shoot a dead chicken at about the speed the air-craft normally flies at it. If the windshield doesn't break, it's likely to survive a real collision with a bird during flight. The British had recently built a new locomotive that could pull a train faster than any before it. They were not sure that its windshield was strong enough so they borrowed the testing device from the FAA, reset it to approximate the maximum speed of the locomotive, loaded in the dead chicken, and fired. The bird went through the windshield, broke the engineer's chair, and made a major dent in the back wall of the engine cab. They were quite surprised with this result, so they asked the FAA to check the test to see if everything was done correctly. The FAA checked everything and suggested that they might want to repeat the test using a thawed chicken.
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Why did the dinosaur have so few friends? Because Tyrannosaurus reeks!
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