Joke #2855

Q: Why are tigers religious? A: Because they prey frequently, and prey as a family!
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has 35.23 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: animal

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A man walks into a bar, after buying a beer he looks around the bar and sees three men and a dog playing cards. Amazed, the man wanders over and starts watching the game. Aftere watching the game for ten minutes, the man leans over to one of the other player's and whispers " Wow, that's a really smart dog!". The man whispers backs "He isn't that smart, every time he gets a good hand, he wags his tail!"
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has 66.71 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, dog, game
An asp in the grass is a snake, but a grasp in the ass is a goose.
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has 43.21 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting
What must a policeman have before searching a rabbits home? A search warren.
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has 42.03 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal, cop
How much do I owe Yo' Mama? My dog came home happy last night.
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has 51.34 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal, dog, Yo mama
Mr. Bear and Mr. Rabbit live in the same forest, but they don't like each other. One day, they come across a golden frog who offers them three wishes each. Mr. Bear wishes that all the other bears in the forest were female. Mr. Rabbit wishes for a crash helmet. Mr. Bear's second wish is that all the bears in the neighboring forests were female as well. Mr. Rabbit wishes for a motorcycle. Mr. Bear's final wish is that all the other bears in the world were female, leaving him the only male bear in the world. Mr. Rabbit revs the engine of his motorcycle and says, "I wish that Mr. Bear was gay!" and rides off.
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has 84.15 % from 1873 votes. More jokes about: animal, car, dirty, gay
Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.
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has 70.84 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal
Three tortoises, Tinku, Teku and Toku, went into a restaurant. Each of them ordered a large ice cream sundae. They were waiting for their order when they noticed that it was pouring with rain outside. "We are going to need our umbrellas," said Toku. Tinku agreed. They both decided that Teku should run home to get the umbrellas, but he didn't want to go in case they ate his ice-cream while he was away. But Toku and Tinku promised that they would do nothing of the kind, so Teku set off. One week went by and Teku did not return. Two weeks went by and still he did not appear. Halfway through the third week, Tinku turned to Toku and said, "Come on, let's eat his ice cream." "Okay, let's," said Toku. Just then Teku's voice piped up from under the next table, "If you do, I won't go for that umbrella!"
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has 62.61 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal
What's a cow's favorite moosical note? Beef-flat!
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, music
A man goes to the circus. After the show he speaks to the manager and asks for a job. "Alright, what can you do?", the manager asks. "I can do great bird impressions", the man replies. "Pssh, a lot of people can do that". "Oh well", the man says and flies away.
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has 66.45 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal
A stranger was seated next to Little Johnny on the plane when the stranger turned to the Little Johnny and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger." Little Johnny, who had just opened his book, closed it slowly, and said to the stranger, "What would you like to discuss?" "Oh, I don't know," said the stranger. "How about nuclear power?" "OK," said Little Johnny. "That could be an interesting topic.But let me ask you a question first." "A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass. The same stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?" "Jeez," said the stranger. "I have no idea." "Well, then," said Little Johnny, "How is it that you feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?"
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has 85.22 % from 1148 votes. More jokes about: animal, little Johnny, stupid