Q: Why are tigers religious?
A: Because they prey frequently, and prey as a family!
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Tow millipedes went for honey moon.
The male one asked: "My darling, between which feet is your pussy, please?"
What did the cannibal say when he came home and found his wife chopping up a python and a pygmy?
Oh no, not snake and pygmy pie again!
Chuck Norris created the platypus by roundhouse kicking a duck at a beaver.
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A man and a woman were on a nude beach when a wasp flew into the woman's vagina.
In a rush the guy pulled on his shorts, wrapped a towel around the woman, and ran to the hospital.
When they got there the doctor said, "The only way I can think to get the wasp out is to slather some honey on my penis and lure it out."
The doctor then offered his services for a mere $50.
After a long pause, the couple agreed.
The doctor happily slathered on some honey and went in.
After a couple of thrusts the husband said, "Hey, what the hell is going on?"
The doctor says, "Change of plans I'm going to drown the bastard."
Q: Why did the elephant paint himself diffrent colours?
A: So he could hide in the crayon box!
Q: Why can't the bankrupt cowboy complain?
A: He has got no beef.
In India, cows wait until Chuck Norris crosses the street.
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What do you get if you cross a cow, a french fry, and a sofa?
A cowch potato.
A young lawyer was working on a farmer’s case, which asked compensation from the train company because one of they’re trains killed 24 pigs of his.
At the High Court, wanting to make impression of the damage amount, the lawyer says:
There were 24 pigs gentlemen!
Twice as much than you!