Q: Why are tigers religious?
A: Because they prey frequently, and prey as a family!
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Why don't cows ever have any money?
Because the farmers milk them dry.
First Kangaroo: What do you call it when giraffes moving one way get mixed up with giraffes moving another way?
Second Kangaroo: A giraffic jam.
How do you lead a horse to water?
With lots of carrots.
There's a guy Who's hiking in the woods one day when a bear chases him up a really tall tree.
The bear started to climb the tree, so the guy climbed up higher.
Then, the bear climbed down and went away.
So the guy starts to climb down the tree.
Suddenly, the bear returns, and this time he's brought an even bigger bear with him.
The two bears climb up the tree, the bigger bear going higher than the first.
But the guy climbed even higher still, so the bears couldn't reach him.
Eventually, the bears went away.
Naturally quite relieved, the guy starts down the tree again.
Suddenly, the two bears return.
But this time the guy knew he was in big trouble.
Each bear was carrying a BEAVER.
The mouse and the elephant stay on the trunk of a smitten tree.
Near them passes the giraffe, who asks them:
Who pulled out this tree from his root?
Me off course, says the mouse, but the elephant helped a bit.
Bob checked into his hotel room and immediately noticed a dead cockroach on the floor.
He called the front desk, asked for the manager and raised a fuss.
"Sir, please calm down," the manager replied.
"It's dead. It can't bother you now."
"The dead one doesn't bother me." Bob said.
"It's his pallbearers."
What do you get when you try to cross a pit bull with a computer?
A lot of bites.
Two shepherds lean on their crooks at the end of a long day and the first asks the second, "So, how's it going?"
The second one sighed and shook his head, "Not good, I can't pay my bills, my health isn't good, my kids don't respect me, and my wife is leaving me."
The first replied, "Well, don't lose any sheep over it."
So...I had this rabbit that died of heatstroke after a week and I didn't have a time to name it.
So after it died and was on my lap the name came to me...I'll call it floppy!