Note to self: Don’t be the cashier to tell Chuck Norris his coupons have expired.
E only equals MC² because Chuck Norris allows it too.
Chuck Norris was supposed to make a cameo appearence in "Full House" but he was let off because he wanted to rename the show "Roundhouse."
Chuck Norris was once shot. The bullet died.
Chuck Norris bowled a perfect game... While using a golf ball.
Chuck Norris's keyboard doesn't have a Ctrl key because nothing controls Chuck Norris.
Using only a black king, Chuck Norris defeated the world-champion grand-master in chess.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
I named my dog Chuck Norris, but I couldn't train him because no one tells Chuck Norris what to do.
Chuck Norris installed his own home security system. It's called "Chuck Norris."
When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesn’t get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.