Oxygen needs Chuck Norris to survive.
Chuck Norris once pushed a door that said,"pull."
It's a proven fact that you will go blind faster staring at a picture of Chuck Norris than you would staring at the sun.
Jason Bourne fought Chuck Norris but he can't remember because now he has amnesia.
When Chuck Norris donates blood, he gives twenty gallons. None of it is his own.
Chuck Norris can check out books from the Library of Congress.
The Karate Kid killed caught a fly with two chopsticks, Chuck Norris killed a rhino with one.
Chuck Norris tried to shave with Darth Vaders's light saber, but the light went out as soon as it realized Chuck Norris was there.
When Chuck Norris pours a bowl of Rice Krispies, they shut the hell up!
Chuck Norris was once so famished, he ate Turkey. The country there now is only an impostor.
Chuck Norris looked Medusa straight in the eyes, and laughed.