Oxygen needs Chuck Norris to survive.
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The Universe is not expanding.
It's running away from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris is the 51st state.
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The Question Mark was invented after scientists attempted to measure the speed of a Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick.
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Chuck Norris can't get a riddle wrong.
The riddle can only have the wrong answer.
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Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour.
He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
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Chuck Norris once starred in Wheel of Fortune.
The last twenty nine minutes were spent in an awkward silence, waiting for the wheel to stop spinning.
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Chuck Norris drew a triangle with four sides.
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Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
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Do you know why Chuck Norris doesn't have a shadow?
You just don't follow him that close!
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If Chuck Norris movies were in 3D, the audience would be dead.
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