Chuck Norris cannot be put in a corner. The corner always backs away.
Chuck Norris doesn't need to mow his lawn, He dares the grass to grow.
When Chuck Norris steals a car he forces it to start.
When Chuck Norris goes to the beach, he puts on sunscreen to protect the sun from him.
Chuck Norris went to the sun and spent two nights.
The hardest known subsatance in the universe is Chuck Norris's will.
Chuck Norris does not open doors. Tthe doors have the common courtesy to open for him
He opens the door then turns the handle.
While vacationing in France, Chuck Norris went out for a casual bike ride and accidentally won the Tour de France.
Chuck Norris leaves potholes when he jogs.
If you type Chuck Norris into Microsoft Word, the little paper-clip just hangs himself.