Chuck Norris can braid a bald head.
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Chuck Norris can do a roundhouse kick with his arms.
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Chuck Norris has only used the 'Total Gym' twice in his life.
When his eyes are open - and when they are closed.
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Chuck Norris once created a time machine and had to fight himself.
We call it The Big Bang.
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Yo mamma so ugly she scares Chuck Norris!
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Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer.
Too bad he has never cried.
Ever.
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Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
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Chuck Norris was a pokemon card, until they took it out of the market cause the Chuck Norris card was level infinity.
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Chuck Norris not only speaks in the third person, he sees in the third person.
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Chuck Norris inflated a flat school bus tire, with his lungs.
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Chuck Norris can headbutt himself in the face.
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