Chuck Norris can braid a bald head.
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Chuck Norris once had a pet monkey...his name was KING KONG
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When Chuck Norris was a kid he taught his parents to stay away from strangers.
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Everybody loves Raymond. Except for Chuck Norris.
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Arnold Schwarzenegger always says he'll be back.
But Chuck Norris always handles things the first time
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A kid once tried to scare Chuck Norris on Halloween... sadly he has had the hiccups now for 40 years.
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When Chuck Norris surfs the Internet, he actually surfs on a virtual wave of 1's and 0's.
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Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies closer.
Close enough to drop them with one round house kick to the face.
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Despite popular belief, there is no such thing as a tornado.
Chuck Norris just doesn't like trailer parks.
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Chuck Norris once threw out the first pitch at a NASCAR race.
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Chuck Norris once stared death in the face...
Death pissed his pants.
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