Q: What do a bungee jump cord and a hooker have in common? A: If the rubber breaks you're screwed.
Chuck Norris invented the Giraffe when he roundhouse kicked a spotted Horse in the chin.
Chuck Norris can build a house from the roof down.
PlayStation network was never hacked. Chuck Norris just decided to play one day.
Chuck Norris can cook minute rice in 30 seconds.
Chuck Norris got a flame and froze it.
Cats are allergic to Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
Chuck Norris wears sunglasses not to protect his eyes from the sun, but to protect the sun from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once won a chess game after losing his king
Chuck Norris sees dead people...and they run.