Q: What do a bungee jump cord and a hooker have in common?
A: If the rubber breaks you're screwed.
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Chuck Norris Streams Netflix on his VCR.
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Chuck Norris can drive a solar-powered car at night.
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Chuck Norris doesn't travel at the speed of light, light travels at the speed of Chuck Norris!
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You can't win a starring contest with Chuck Norris becuase when you look in to his eyes you see hell starring right back at you.
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Chuck Norris fills a 1-Liter Bottle With 2 liters of water.
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The First Law of Thermodynamics states:
Matter cannot be created nor destroyed... unless it meets Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe, with eleven herbs and spices.
But nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear.
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Chuck Norris once heard that nothing can kill him, so he tracked down nothing and killed it.
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Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder.
Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky.
Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life."
Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest.
Chuck Norris won by 5.
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