Q: What do a bungee jump cord and a hooker have in common?
A: If the rubber breaks you're screwed.
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Chuck Norris made the universe... out of his snot and left kidney.
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Superman can leap tall buildings in a single bound.
Chuck Norris just picks the buildings up and moves them out of his way.
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Usain Bolt only began running when he heard, Chuck Norris was in Jamaica shooting a commercial for Red Bull.
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Chuck Norris once won a Scrabble tournament despite getting only Z's and Q's in his rack.
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If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
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The AC/DC song "Highway to Hell" is about Chuck Norris' driveway.
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Chuck Norris can braid a bald head.
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Chuck Norris is so strong, he can punch a hole through thin air.
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Q: What is the sound of Chuck Norris clapping one hand?
A: Thunder.
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Chuck Norris never suffers from a heart attack.
His heart is too smart to not attack him.
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