Q: What do a bungee jump cord and a hooker have in common?
A: If the rubber breaks you're screwed.
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If Charlie Sheen is winning, it's only because Chuck Norris isn't playing.
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The Mona Lisa is smiling because Chuck Norris let her live.
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Chuck Norris donates his beard clippings to the Army so they can make Kevlar vests.
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A kid once tried to scare Chuck Norris on Halloween... sadly he has had the hiccups now for 40 years.
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The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
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Chuck Norris will never die.
The Grim Reaper is too scared to come and claim him.
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Chuck Norris eats gummy bears and shits out grizzly bears.
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The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out.
It failed miserably.
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Chuck Norris can fly around the world on a paper airplane.
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Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
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