Joke #407

The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse actually live in Chuck Norris's nutsack.
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Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris
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Chuck Norris walks into a bar, and as he enters, notices a horse and the end of the bar with a sign on it. Out of curiosity, he approaches the bartender and asks what the deal is with the horse at the end of the bar. The bartender tells him: "The sign says if you can make the horse laugh you'll win $50. Take note though that hundreds of people have tried and no-one has been able to do it." "Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back." So he walks to the end of the bar, whispers something into the horse's ear, and within seconds the horse is laughing hysterically. "That's amazing," said the bartender. "Tell you what, if you can make him cry I'll double your winnings." "Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back." So Chuck walked again over to the horse, came back to the bartender 2 minutes later, and the horse was balling and sobbing like a baby. "Well," replied Chuck Norris, "First I told him a had a bigger d*ck than he did. Then I showed him."
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The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.
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Chuck Norris dosent swim, water just likes him.
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Chuck Norris won the Tour De France on a stationary bike.
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Chuck Norris likes his meat rare, so he eats unicorns.
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Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
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When Chuck Norris was 3 years old , he was bored And decided to carve a sculpture with only his Baby toe nail , this sculpture is now called.... Mount Rushmore
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Once, Chuck Norris only filled his name in on the SAT. He got a perfect score.
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Chuck Norris once hit 3 touchdowns during a friendly game of full-contact bowling.
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