The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse actually live in Chuck Norris's nutsack.
The Swiss army uses a Chuck Norris knife.
Chuck Norris didn't shoot the sheriff, but he roundhouse kicked the deputy.
Chuck Norris can blow a tornado away.
Mortal Kombat is not difficult enough for Chuck Norris, so he got Immortal Kombat.
Chuck Norris invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe, with eleven herbs and spices. But nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear.
When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris says "Jump", you don't say, "How high?" - you say, "When do I come down?"
Lou Gehrig considered himself the luckiest man on the face of the Earth, no one knew that it was because he was soon getting away from Chuck Norris.
There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.