In 1666, Chuck Norris caught the Plague. The Plague learned its lesson, and has stayed away since then.
Once chuck norris and time had race. Result: The time is still running.
Chuck Norris once climbed Mt. Everest in 15 minutes, 14 of which he was building a snowman at the bottom.
Chuck Norris' pulse-rate is measured on the Richter Scale.
Chuck Norris was once tested for steroids. The results came back positive. When confronted with this information, Chuck Norris chuckled and said, "Of course, what do you think they make steroids from?"
It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
Doctor: "I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live." Patient: "What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!" Doctor: "Nine."
The Total Gym uses Chuck Norris to stay in shape.
Chuck Norris once caught AIDS... but then he let it go.
A few guys tried to follow Chuck Norris during a light workout while he was vacationing in Hawaii. It's now called the Ironman Triathlon.
When Chuck Norris sets his watch, he sets time itself.