Q: Why is Chuck Norris still alive? A: Death remembers the feeling of the round-house kick.
Chuck Norris doesn't need a stapler, he puts the paper between his fingers and they just stick.
Some people like to eat frogs' legs. Chuck Norris likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes.
Chuck Norris doesn't have an attitude. He has a personality you can't handle.
Chuck Norris can drive a car without gas... or an engine.
Rudolph has a red nose because he got lippy and Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him across the face several times.
Chuck Norris is not 70 years old. At age 60, he began getting younger. This is why he is actually only 50.
Chuck Norris can make a Java Program in visual studio 2010.
When Chuck Norris asks you to stop mid-sentence, you.
Chuck Norris once stared death in the face... Death pissed his pants.