Q: Why is Chuck Norris still alive? A: Death remembers the feeling of the round-house kick.
Chuck Norris uses an air bag... in order to protect the inside of his car in case he stops too fast.
Chuck Norris doesn't need health care, everyone in his viewing range does.
Chuck Norris found the end of a rainbow. The leprachuan said he couldn't have the gold. So he roundhouse kicked him in the face.
Chuck Norris didn't sign the Declaration of Idependence because he wanted the British to think they had chance.
Chuck Norris protects his body guards.
Chuck Norris tells clocks what time it is.
We ask the president to make laws. The president asks Chuck Norris.
How long does it take Chuck Norris to get to Asia? 2 months... How does he get there? He walks.
When Chuck Norris drives a Lamborghini, people assume the Llamborghini is compensating for something.