Q: Why is Chuck Norris still alive?
A: Death remembers the feeling of the round-house kick.
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If Chuck Norris were a cat he would have ten lives.
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When Chuck Norris went to the beach, he gave the ocean a bath.
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A watched kettle never boils... unless Chuck Norris is doing the watching, in which case it explodes.
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Chuck Norris can stare you to death while looking the other direction!
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Chuck Norris invented his own type of karate.
It's called Chuck-Will-Kill.
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Rambo is simply Chuck Norris disguised as Sylvester Stalone playing tag.
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Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
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Always be yourself, unless you can be Chuck Norris, then always be Chuck Norris.
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When Chuck Norris goes skydiving at 10,000 feet he jumps into the plane... from the ground.
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