Chuck Norris can make a dog bark the alphabet, in spanish, backwards.
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Chuck Norris can travel back in time into the future.
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Chuck Norris has the iPhone 5...he got it back in '84.
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When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.
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Chuck Norris' free advice is worth a fortune.
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T. S. Eliot measured out his life with coffee spoons.
Chuck Norris uses a backhoe.
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Chuck Norris failed recess because he dosent play games.
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Chuck Norris's tombstone will say, "He's finally taking a nap, do not wake."
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It is a fact that Chuck Norris cannot cry, this is because his tearducts are too muscular.
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Chuck Norris once won a game of Space Invaders without shooting.
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Chuck Norris was once bitten by a venomous cobra ....
After 5 days of excrutiating pain the cobra
Eventually died
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