Chuck Norris can speak braille.
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Chuck Norris once raced light.
He is still waiting for it to catch up.
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Chuck Norris doesen't fly, gravity collapses around him.
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Scientists did not in fact slipt the atom, Chuck Norris just roundhouse kicked it.
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Chuck Norris can empty a swimming pool with a fork... while it's raining.
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CNN tells about every disaster around the world.
CNN is actually Chuck Norris News.
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Chuck Norris finds it impossible to understand the concept of impossibility.
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The Expendables 2 is actually a documentary film showing Chuck Norris killing people.
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Chuck Norris is why we don't need no stinking badgers.
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The phrase "I am become death, destroyer of worlds" was actually first coined by Chuck Norris when he came out of the womb.
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Chuck Norris can check his facebook on a typewriter.
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