The Statue of Liberty is alive, but Chuck Norris told her not to move.
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Chuck Norris once broke the law... with his fists.
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Jason Bourne fought Chuck Norris but he can't remember because now he has amnesia.
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When Chuck Norris plays hangman, he decides what the word is.
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On a high school math test, Chuck Norris put down "Violence" as every one of the answers.
He got an A+ on the test because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with Violence.
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Chuck Norris grew a beard at the age of eighteen.
Twice.
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Chuck never auditioned for Walker Texas Ranger, a camera crew turned up at his house and secretly filmed him.
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Everybody knows that Chuck Norris can't shoot a bow even though he got 5 bullseyes in a row.
The only reason he got the bullseye is that his arrows know better than to miss.
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Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death, he beats it fair and square.
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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
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Jedis are now taught to use the "Chuck".
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